myconfessions

a dead end at the empty road

2008-09-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

to start this post...

HAHA thats my very retarded chairperson for you.
do note that she actually took this photo of herself, saved it and put it as my phone's background pic.

i took this shot in malaysia and i rly rly like this one! :D
the sky's so pretty and i like the old shophouses.
esp the yellow one which stands out from the rest.

1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits.
3. Answer one question with one name.
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.
(PS: If you see your name and agree to do the meme, then I'll send you the questions.)

here's my meme:

1. aqilahhh
2. indah (:
3. sultan of brunei, seriously.
4. siti! haha
5. farah!
6. nur liyana bte norman
7. nadiah (riverside)
8. that unknown sec2 chi girl
9. superhero ((:
10. revathy!
11. aliffah? haha i think
12. devi (:
13. diana. idk why though haha
14. SITI.
15. alyssa. lol
16. definitely rab
17. bernice yuen. hoho
18. wing yannn
19. hanna banana
20. masliana (:
21. raihan
22. er, farzanah?
23. daddy
24. mummy
25. wing yan again. hahah
26. raihan! hahahaha
27. ME LA. LOL
28. claudia. HAHAH
29. C.E.C.!! *hyperventilates*
30. you guys were loved, are being loved and will always be loved by me (:

i shall not talk about my traumatizing event this morn for now.
really traumatizing i was in tears and shivering like mad okay D:
but csp oral was ok though. LC always sucked so it doesnt matter.

a couple of days back, buka-ed with my kentals 8D
haha it was such a funny scene i could roll on the road laughing.
before that, had csp paper1&2. laoshi freaking forgot bout it at first ok :0
so we started at 4 and ended at 7. haha i love love love doing chi essays lol so funn cause i can write weird&crappy things.
lj was infested with mats and minahs. UHUH.
tummy hurts from the food&drinks&laughing.
farah's daddy sent me&wati home and the ride was an extremely beautifulllllll one (:

prac tmr and i am so so so coming to school on normal time >:(
.....
okay maybe not. heh.

im sleepy and i love love love my sms study partner HEH HEH
:D

2008-09-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Mummy! :D
Happy Birthday Mikey Way! (:

haha, not that i fancy him or anything (neutral) but its so cool that my mum shares the same birthday as someone who is so known all over the world :D

nothing's wrong tonight but its just one of those nights when you just feel like crying for no reason, you know? i mean, almost everyone experiences that sometimes. aiyah, i think im just too tired and frustrated. very.
sighsigh. shall update more on my kentals (HAHA) next time.

2008-09-08T03:01:00.000-07:00

dont ask me why, but it hurts.
much worse than before.
i dont even know why i even f*cking cared or bothered in the first place.
this is driving me insane.
how i wish you'd disappear.
the sight of you makes my blood stop flowing (exaggerated but wtv)
i'd so love to pick a fight with you, you know.
just so that i have a reason to feel this way.
at least i wont feel so pathetic that way.
you make me feel really pathetic, you really make me feel like a M.L.
i hope you read this darling.

such an emo start. sighs.
today's papers were ok i guess.
i got mad during amath p2 because the paper was considerably easy and i know i screwed up my paper 1 so bad, and my overall marks will still be pathetic. gah.
many agreed that hist's sbq was surprisingly (and suspiciously) easy though. i finished all the sbq qns in like what, 40 mins? such a miracle for such a subj!
i bloody wasted time on seq. i literally just stared at the qns for like 5 mins or so? and another 10 mins to choose one qn and try to rmb the points.
kinda relieved the dreaded subjs are over (besides chem prac in which everyone sucks at) and stuff....
when lava msged me abt tmr's csp prelim.
OMG i rly thought its next tues ok :0
i feel like a L (Lovable kid! HEH)
i rmbed having so much to say otw back home from sch,
now its all....gone. ahwells.
i'll be fasting tmr yay yay :D

C.E.C.

2008-09-06T08:55:00.000-07:00

C.E.C.

SWOONS (!!)

2008-09-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

i loved you.
but oh, dont get me all wrong here.

its spinning, spinning away and never stopping.
he's running, running away and never returning.
she's dying, dying away and never surviving.

ingatkah engkau kepada embun pagi bersahaja, yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya?
ingatkah engkau kepada angin yang berhembus mesra, yang kan membelaimu, cinta?

runaway love.

2008-09-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

know exactly what i feel like doing right now?
i feel like running away to somewhere far, probably New Zealand, with just a small bag to keep my valuables with me.
no, not my phone or tablet. just my passport, some cash and music player maybe. really.
okay, should cut the crap. i have some dedications to make!

first and foremost, to SITI!
HEE. my awesome bestie for 6 years now :D
sorry, i still owe you a present! but soon i promise (:
anyway, thanks sidekick, for always being there and being so cheerful all the time; makes my day!
hahaha okay, i dont have much to say here since you can read my mind all the time right (;
thanks for all the years and happy 16th!
WELCOME TO THE LEAGUE! HAHAHA
we shall wait for amira (=after o's) and then we can go watch nc16 movies tgt!
haha. all the best for the rest of the prelim papers and of course for o's too!
you know you'll always have my back and support (;
i love youuuu! x3

next to sis (idk if she'll read this)
happy 18th! :D
haha finally legal. and when you finally have your license, pls pls be nice and send me to school (;
despite all our catfights,
i lovee you! x3

and to fareha;
please be strong okay darling? we've been friends for 7 years now, and thats a very long time. it really hurts to see you like this.
dont be so sad and emo anymore okay?
you know you'll always have all our backs; and we'll be there to catch you if you fall (;
please dont be silly anymore k, and stay strong!
i dont know what exactly is bothering you and im sorry (im such a bad friend)
but i still love you all the same! pls be the cheerful and cute girl once again cause i miss that side of you ):
those streaks seems familiar, and i dont know if you know this, but i was like that before too. i know how it feels darling, please do stay strong because i dont want you to go on hurting yourself.
okay, just remember that you'll always have me through day and night and if you really need someone to rant to, i'll always be a phone call away (:
love you girl! x3

to
......there's so much to say to you that i cant possibly put it into words. do you know that i dreamt of you yesterday? it was probably the sweetest dream i've had after so long, even sweeter than that dream when i got full marks in every possible test there was.
okay, i love you too x3

in other words

2008-08-31T08:37:00.001-07:00

everyone goes out of their mind once in a while and i mean, thats okay right.
things do get shitty, it is very shitty now.
but i realised it's always good once you find a purpose.
its like, a new strength from within,
and it kinda motivates you.
though you do have weird doubts.
life's beautiful the way it is and i shall not blame anyone, will not blame anyone, for anything that comes in the way.
not many believe in miracles,
but i do, and i havent seen it come true,
but at least i've seen the light.
life seems so beautiful.

everyone gets bitchy too once in awhile but its okay.
just a few hours ago, i felt like biting off everyone's head,
but now im fine.
fine because i know that this world obviously doesnt consists of angels only.
i cant help it if people behave the way they are, if people do the things they do.
i know i cant change anything, but the least i could do is to change my perspective.
and life turns beautiful again.

some memories do hurt, even though they're from over tens of years ago.
its not like the stabbing kind of hurt,
but more of like the pins and needles kind of hurt.
some memories do haunt you,
though you keep hoping and hoping that they'll be gone soon.
but as life goes on, you realise its there memories that you've kept for so long,
that makes life beautiful as it is.

now, do you get me?
i dont believe its that hard to listen.
but i think its harder to feel.

tmr's the start of the fasting month and i guess all's good.
i didnt have the oppurtunity to say my apologies to everyone,
but yeah. sorry if i've hurt you in any way. (emotionally or physically. HAH)
but really, thanks for tolerating me (if you're really sincere, that is)
i know its kinda bad when i moodswing.....
i see tmr as a new start, not the end.

-
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When were grey and old
cos I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when Im lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
Im loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether Im right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
When I come to call she wont forsake me
Im loving angels instead

When Im feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know Ill always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
Im loving angels instead

a beautiful song indeed to start the fasting month with!
and omg look at the number of views!

life's full of shit but its okay

2008-08-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

second slower half of the class (:

s3! w some ppl missing though

agn

the past two days must have been the most interesting days for this month i guess.

friday was good because everyone was so high and wacky in school/class we laughed like kids laughing over a clown. i cant rmb when was the last time i laughed that hard until my tummy hurts.
sigh, being a sec4 rocks
haha but i might post up one of the retarded videos here once i get my hands on them. (:
had mini celebration with cikgu outside the staffroom.
haha budget sey. then it was the concert and all of us got super super high, i swear its the effect from the cake.
but otw to al-ameen (?) all of us got rather worn out and stoned throughout the whole journey. was kinda dead during the lunch though its not that bad, but my food was yucky. i even had to mix my fried rice with the naan's butter chicken gravy to actually give it some taste. wth.

then next, me, nat, nad, constance, siti, raihan and amira went to nat's house to watch John Tucker must die! :DD it was so fun/funny, they are the best ppl to watch chick flicks with man. OH. and found out zoey's migrating tmr :0

mum kinda found out bout my tablet.
long story, but the screen cracked. i dont know whether its just me, but the crack seems to be getting bigger and bigger by the day :0
so yeah, the crack's kinda distracting as i type every word here.
but then again, its kinda cool. if you look at it in the artistic way. (:

today's a weirdly weird day.
had takeaway lunch and went to BRADDELL.
there was noone at all, though the other levels should be having their sessions too.
so yay, me and siti thought we were early!
but omg at 2.25 i called rab and she told me everyone's at bedok (but she didnt know and was at braddell too)
thank god abg sat's with us. waited for athirah and aqilah and we got a super fast ride to bedok. so yay to that!

our meeting was kinda retarded hahah laughed alot.
but on the down side, everyone, including the sec1s to sec3s, and also the pioneer bacth, will be joining us for our 'graduation' (cum smth smth launch) and it kinda defeats the purpose and wont be so fun ): the thought of some people really turns me off. SHUDDERS.
so anw, abg sat sent us home (: but i stupidly left my hp adapter cause i used my phone to play the music on the speaker. i feel stupid now becuase i'll be musicless during the whole sept hols (unless i switch on the comp. but no, i'll end up being distracted) D:

okay, everyone feels so slack for the past few days cause it feels as though prelims are over even though we're only halfway through. not satisfied with some paper but overall i guess it wasnt so bad.

next week is puasa week/mugging week and im excited/happy (:
im feeling all out of sorts lately and i dont know why.
im making myself strongly believe that its the stress ):

2008-08-28T06:54:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SWEET 16TH SITI! :D
hehe happy bday gal! sorry, i really owe you a present D:
after prelims i promise!! :D
(and dedication post up soon okay. heh im too tired today ): )
but wtv it is, me love you long time! (:

im feeling so YE&D*&G#EHYUE today.
really personal rantings all up on lj.
do add me okay (if i know you) (:

i really love this version, its totally different and sweet.
and yes, im ashamed to admit this but i cried listening to this ):

another beautiful cover. the song is really beautiful (:

english and prelims.

2008-08-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

i just did an IQ test and i have an IQ of 143.
above average, at least that boosts my confidence for tmr's paper :0
(but in crescent you need to have an IQ of like 170 or smth to be regarded as normal)
do you know that the internet is a very good source for you to improve on your english?

i feel so loser-ish and never felt more like a loser than being this loser. its ironical because i dont really lose since i dont compete much and losers are only for people who dont win. but i still feel all loser-ish for god knows what loser reason. i feel like a loser sitting for loser exams and tests. i feel like a loser trying to be a loser in being a loser. i feel like a loser when i like loser losers. i feel like a loser when i cant get loserly loser things right. and yes, im feeling like a loser saying so many losers in just one short loser paragraph.

i like pretty things just like any other pretty person do. i like pretty butterflies flying prettily in pretty parks. i like pretty flowers and pretty cupcakes with prettily decorated icing on top. i like pretty boys and pretty girls too. but pretty things are not always as pretty as you've had always prettily thought they are. being pretty comes with a pretty price too, if you get what i mean. but luckily im not pretty because being pretty pretty much makes your life seems so pretty. all pretty and no ugly, then life wouldnt be so pretty then, dont you agree?

im tiredly tired of being tired. the tired feeling is very tiring, no? im tired of exams and books. im tired of this tired world, with all the tiring problems they can never seem to solve no matter how tired they are trying to tiredly solve them. im tired of liking you and tiringly tell myself that im tired of everything. everything tires me out every tiringly now and then. im tired of my own tired face. but the most tiring thing of all, is to be tired of this tiring queen.

yeah. im so intellectual. not.
instead of learning new bombastic words, i learnt how to turn simple words into complex sentences (but so not working cause i dont make sense)

i stupidly left all my el resources in sch and i would sincerely like to thank all my friends who had made the effort to scan/photocopy stuff for me, or go through certain stuff with me, so that i can study. thanks, you guys are much loved (:
thats what friends are for <3

fond memories

2008-08-24T04:26:00.000-07:00

im waiting for sleep to come...........
in random order

our own dikir team! im so proud of us and them (:

ice skating (:

penantiannnnnn (:

i love pbmc alot (:

we sec4s rule :D

bahasssssss! (:

CrezAwards (:

Klas K! :D

beatrice, raihan, nad, siti, me, nat, amira, mayvin, brenda.
racial harmony 08 (:

we went to support our bahas team (:
(haha nurul very cute seh)

i love pbmc JK! :D

taridra whooo (:

we rock the camp :D

graduates tea (:

racial harmony 07
(it doesnt seem like a year ago at all.)

sec1 pbmc phototaking! (:

i never feared death so much. HAHA

MNS :D

hanizahhh! :D
(adlina's look-a-like. lol. sort of.)

angklunggggg :D

3s3 07 (:

dikir :D

the good old angklung (:

ymc bbq 06!

w/ rach&ashley (:

work experience (:

jalan raye babe :D

rename love (:

vivo (:

creztrack. HAHA

negeri 9! (:

camp tun teja :D

gee1 05-06

1g1 05 cheer competition! :D

walkathon. HAHA. (:

2008-08-22T08:35:00.000-07:00

hahah im NOT a minah okay!

(that Constance Lingam just didnt have any better thing to write)

i have these to look forward to:

-YMC

-prelims

-s3 outing next fri :D

-breaking fast with s3 ppl ((:

-class dance

makes my life doesnt seem so bad eh?

4s3 <3

2008-08-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

clockwise:
brenda, asilah, raihan, ryhan, me!, beatrice, constance, ameerah, wing yan, ying tong, nad, nat, amira, aliffah, melainne, devi, diane
:D
had class gathering today, sort of.
at least half of the class went for the lunch though it was very last minute.
ils3vm (:

just so you know

2008-08-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

i dont always do this but i feel freaking horrible tonight.

RULES:
1. Place your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. Put the last title of the song as the subject.
4. You must write the song name no matter how silly it sounds.

IF SOMEONE SAY "IS THIS OKAY", YOU SAY...
take you there- sean kingston
(=awesome)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
beautiful girls- sean kingston
(HAHAH :D)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY OR GIRL?
umbrella(remix)- rihanna feat. chris brown
(caring&loving yo)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
half alive- secondhand serenade
(how true!)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
photo- ryan cabrera
(treasure every moment in life!)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
maybe- secondhand serenade
(think twice before doing anth?! okay, not.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
underneath your clothes- shakira
(haha secretive, maybe)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
doesnt really matter- janet jackson
(haha OMG. no, they matter to me)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
no air- jordin sparks feat chris brown
(SCHOOL'S FREAKING SUFFOCATING ME IN EVERY SINGLE DAMN WAY)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BESTIES?
finally- fergie
(...)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
menghapus jejakmu- peterpan
(haha so true man. sucker la, im trying to forget you)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
girl-next-door- saving jane
(NO! i wanna be successful (: )

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
the call- backstreet boys
(make the move yo!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
broken hearts parade- good charlotte
(im sucha disappointment to them ): )

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
like a boy- ciara
(HAHA GIRL POWER MAN. marriage wont take away my freedom and rights!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
i turn to you- christina aguilera
(aww man this is damn sweet<3)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
hate that i love you- rihanna feat ne-yo
(...)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
fall for you- secondhand serenade
(omg.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
greatest love of all- whitney houston
(HAHA ahemahem)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
just so you know- jesse mccartney
(just so you know...i love each and every one of you guys! :D)

-
terus melangkah melupakanmu
lelah hati perhatikan sikapmu
jalan pikiranmu buatku ragu
tak mungkin ini tetap bertahan

perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu
kucuba untuk terus menjauh
perlahan hati ku terbelenggu
kucuba untuk lanjutkan hidup

engkau bukanlah segalaku
bukan tempat untuk hentikan langkahku
usai sudah semua berlalu
biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

lepaskan segalanya
lepaskan segalanya

engkau bukanlah segalaku
bukan tempat untuk hentikan langkahku
usai sudah semua berlalu
biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

nananana nananananananana nananana
-

i didnt realise that last line, it made me Laugh Out Loud
LOL

i wont be posting here temporarily
(for many reasons)
anw, my lj needs a lil bit of revival too.
see you there (:

my daddy's leaving for hong kong next week.
how fair can life get?
'life's never fair. if not, i would've been born fair'
-ms vicky
noone to fetch me from madrasah/noone to laugh at the stupid things i do ):

2008-08-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

when everything in the world goes wrong,
you'll just feel like running away.
you say, look at the bright side?
where is it?
i dont see it.
there's no bright side honey.
is it just my eyes,
or are ~~you~~ we living in denial?

i dont like this place.
im running away to somewhere safer.
you'll know where to find me <3

2008-08-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

friday was such a weird yet nice day. no elaborations.
but...i managed to get my hotdog prata/prata hotdog (??) after night study :D
anw, during bio, our bio teacher accidentally said 'haemogoblin' instead of 'haemoglobin'
so...this was what siti and i came up with.
emo goblin!

haha its very cute, no? though the emo fringe part is not quite clear.
and also, just to show my friends that indeed i was super dark in sec1!

haha. its not just the lighting okay. see, i was darker last time!
and and, i came to a conclusion:
math makes me hungry ):

plus i think most prolly i'll have to go for detention with aqilah ):
i mean, i get caught for the stupidest things on earth. (thanks to that L person ah.)
besides that, stupid SMRT trains have alwaysssss been late this term.
it doesnt help that they only allowed one excuse letter D: (though i dont freaking care and gave two)
hee but its okay, there's Aqilah and we can spend quality time together :D

ok im off now. the computer makes me dizzy :/

blow wind blow

2008-08-13T07:56:00.000-07:00

people go on hiatus when exams are coming.
but if you notice, i seem to keep coming here to blog whenever exams are near. ahwells. at least its a nice form of escape.

amira the taitai

the kind of fun we have during bio
(and i just realised not long ago that this picture has a deep meaning to it. you geddit?)

this pic is so...mystical.

raihan the aspiring model (:

i feel really proud watching them perform! :D

chinese girl and japanese mum

i see gorgeous devi :0

if only it is this sunny everyday,
if only the pink flowers bloom everyday,
if only the sky is as beautiful everyday.

KKK! (Kami Kool Kan!)

goooooooooooooo angklung!

my prelims schedule sucks like shit.

25 Aug (mon)
el paper 1
el paper 2

26 Aug (tues)
emath paper 1
lit paper 1

27 aug (wed)
social studies
bio paper 1
csp o level oral

28 Aug (thurs)
amath paper 1
lit paper 2

8 Sep (mon)
amath paper 2
elect history

9 Sep (tues)
emath paper 2

10 Sep (wed)
Chem paper 3
phys,chem paper 1

11 Sep (thurs)
Phys paper 2

12 Sep (fri)
phys, chem prac

15 Sep (mon)
hml paper 1
hml paper 2
bio paper 2

16 Sep (tues)
CSP prelims

its just so stupid how they pushed back my bio paper 2 all the way to the end. which means that technically, i have to study twice for bio. sucks, cause there's twenty one freaking chaps. and even now, im not even half way through my revision for it. SIGHS.
also, the norm mt ppl wont have to come to sch on that day AND even so, everyone will be out rejoicing a little after that while i will still be stuck in school. SIGHSIGH.
its also stupid how our prelims got split up due to sep hols. i mean, cant they like push it back or forward at least?

i cant wait for prelims to be over.
weird, but the thought of o's doesnt bug me as much as the thought of prelims does. ):

you're so fucking special;
i wish i was special

alarm clocks!

2008-08-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

having an alarm clock doesnt work, so i resort to using many alarm clocks, which obviously failed too. i gave up and tried using a human alarm clock and it makes not much of a difference...so im using many human alarm clocks now! :D HEHE

8.05- adlina
8.10- aqilah
8.15- hazwani
8.20- rab
8.25- nazreen
8.30- MY OWN ALARM CLOCK

all my effort in making sure that i wake up early tmr better work.
i've been sleeping early and waking up late. that totally sucks ):

you may not be reading this,
but happy bday dad!
me love you longggggg time. HEHE

taylor swift- i'd lie

2008-08-08T07:31:00.000-07:00

I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
I count the colors in his eyes

He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke, I fake a smile
But I know all his favorite songs

And I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Born on the seven~~teen~~th
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I'd lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
~~Shouldn't a light go on?~~
Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?

He sees everything in black and white
Never lets no body see him cry
And I don't let no body see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I'd lie

He stands there then walks away
My God if I could only say
I'm holding every breath for you

He'd never tell you
But he can play guitar
I think he can see through
Everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up
Is my God he's beautiful
So I put on my make-up
And pray for a miracle

Yes I could tell you
His favorite color's green
He loves to argue
Oh and it kills me
His sister's beautiful
He has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you asked me if I love him
I'd lie (:

lovely song.
amazing how the chorus closely describes you,
and how the whole song seems to be like as though it was meant for you.

anddddddd. aqilah has got me addicted to collide agn, since last month. :0
(tapi titlenya mengingatkan ku tentang WACK. geddit? macam nak AC, CPC) haha i just realised.

and today im very pissed this amazing teacher.
who caused my blisters to worsen and because of that, i had to walk tip-toeing (and i really mean tip-toeing ON MY TOES okay) the whole day.
so reasonable. SHEESH.
she has been picking on me lately, i swear :/
OH MY I'VE FOUND A NEW BEST FRIEND IN SCH YO!!!
i've every right to sue that particular teacher (if i could).
-for making me angry and pissed (bad for health)
-for making me curse under my breath the whole day (cursing is sinful. i think)
-for making my injuries worse (its really horrible and it stings okay!)
-for adding to my troubles (i take twice as long to walk okay. and i had to stop now and then, cause you have no idea how damn tiring it is to walk tip-toeing around town. from LIDO all the way to CINE. OH. and liy left first, which added to my anger. cause we walked all that distance for NOTHING. >:( )
-for making strangers think im not in the right state of mind. (cause DUH i was tiptoeing and walking weirdly! and i'll just suddenly stop in the middle of the crowd.)
SO THERE YOU GO.

"in the future, I am going to open a shop named 'Poser'."
-Beatrice saying this after seeing the shop called 'wanna-be'. or smth.
LOL.
"no really! i've thought of it since last time! then all the things that im gonna sell are black stuff."
ah, thats my ~~weird~~ extra weird classmate for you.

weeeeeee. i feel better. i shall go back to my *amath* now. wish me luck ppl!

2008-08-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

I SURRENDER
for once and for all.
no, my studies has got nothing to do with it.
~~im losing myself~~
i've lost myself

just to start my Wednesday good

2008-08-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

this start my Wed good, i decided to post up klas k pics during racial harmony! haha of course you wont see alot of my face cause i look damn unglam in most of them. and im nice enough to only post up pics in which everybody looks fine (:

never knew i could ~~hurt~~ love like this

liy+cikgu K+haslinda

Mat Masjid & Chinese Taitai. LOL

haha this pic is cute

siti&me!

rab&aqilah

liy&haslinda

hanna+cikgu K+amira

rab+cikgu K+aqilah

raihan&aisyah

hanna&amira

aqilah THE bollywood actress in the making

im staring at perfection :D

hanna&amira agn

we are ~~probably~~ the best malay class ever! WHOO!

pre-Wednesday blues

2008-08-05T06:43:00.000-07:00

if you know me well enough,
or observe close enough.
you'll see that things are pretty messed up.
you'll see that I'm kinda messed up too.
its funny how it feels like i've told the whole world,
though its safe in me.
if you ask me, honestly i'll tell you that im scared.
very. extremely.
6. the number's growing and its getting more and more frightening for me.
its like...knowing that candies and chocs are bad for you but you keep wanting more and can never have enough, you know?
you probably wont get what im talking about here.
this is stupid.
this is oh so stupid.
im losing myself.
i have no exact reason to be feeling this way,
but i really feel like the world's greatest loser -.-
tmr's wednesday and things are so not getting better.

2008-08-02T11:19:00.000-07:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

When I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here I've lost my place I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

xoxo

amusing

2008-08-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

HAHA the video is damn retarded. dont even rmb aisyah taking that.
lol. it was during musical evening 06. we were practicing for the finale dance in our awesome awesome esplanade holding room. WHOOOO. HAHAHA. we feel like stars of the day yo!
ahh sweet memories :D

my pet (:

2008-07-27T23:18:00.001-07:00

"orang yang aku suka itu kentally kool, tetapi super kiut! KKK!*does peace sign and shows a wide smile*"
LOL

adopt your own virtual pet!

2008-07-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

Liyana Bte Jailani <3
always in my heart

well, my dear baby cousin passed away last saturday.
it was upsetting that i couldnt attend the funeral due to the extremely interesting speech day.
i visited her on the sunday before and she was in a very critical condition in the ICU.
really heartbreaking, but may she rest in peace in heaven now. i love her!

this week passed by in a blur.
i remember going through a roller coaster of emotions.
and having our own night study at je lib.
oh, and of course, the part where s3 won the best dressed class award for racial harmony :D
nat&nad became my atoks for the day. haha. which means...raihan and amira are my neneks, no? HAHA.
speech day and learning fest was total crap. ):

if I make it through today,
will I survive tomorrow?
will I get to see you again?
will I get to tell the truth?
but what if I wont make it through today?
will you come looking for me?
will you know I'm not there?
but most importantly,
will you know I love you?

maybe this whole leaving Crescent thing isnt so bad.
there's a million things i'll miss of course,
but letting go is the hardest part i guess (yet to come)
im putting up a dedication post after o's (chey chey still a long time to come!)
and i'll try my best not to miss out on anyone. HEE.
Project Memory Album starts this weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! :D

have a gooooooood day, yo people! (:
(i cant believe im actually looking forward to coming to sch tmr. HAISH)

xoxo
hanisah

2008-07-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

oh anw.
i forgot to talk about this.
about my 1 year plus baby cousin.
she was born a little different, though it wasnt obvious.
she is incapable of saying anth or even crawl, though she's nearly 2.
she's suffering from this weird disease which causes her to have weird muscle reflexions.
and now her feet is totally straight, which means she cant bend it and its going to remain like that.
she even need to have special shoes made for her.
i only got to know of her condition during early this year.
and now she's in the hospital, in an extremely critical condition.
doctors say that there's no more hope.
but im hoping against hope that its not true.
i love her and she's really adorable.
im going to visit her first thing tmr morn,
and im praying for her.
i hope you can pray for her too,
because she deserves to live this life,
to be healed, and grow up normal just like any other kid.
i cant imagine losing her because i guess its the first time im ever gonna lose someone so young, cause those whom i know and have passed on are the elder ones.
im emotional when it comes to this, because i've seen my grandmother die of lung cancer right before my eyes, she took her last breath right before my eyes, but i felt like a bum because there's nothing i could do at all. (also the reason why i hate smokers. my late grandma doesnt smoke at all btw. only her sons and family side. dont get confused, my mum's the only child and i have a very complicated family history.)
okay, so im really hoping for a miracle tmr.
God bless her beautiful soul.
Amin.

long post+random

2008-07-19T06:40:00.000-07:00

you dont know how much i hate the cyber world.
really.
not hate, maybe dislike.
so maybe its a good thing that my tablet's screwed too.

school's not as tiring as last week.
only because i have been falling asleep on my study table
i mean like, who falls asleep just like that on the study table while studying/doing homework?!
-> me.
really drive me nuts cause i will wake up the next morn, panicky and all, to realize that i have horrible leg/tummy cramps, uncompleted hmwk/did not study and my room is in a complete mess.
im ~~awesome~~

i hate living in this hypocritical world.
im really sorry if im not being positive about every little damn thing,
but i really have my limits okay.
i really dont care if you harm me a little, cause you know i dont like blowing things up and being petty.
but you should know when enough is enough.
dont step on my toes just because i always look up and seldom look down.
its okay if you choose to tip me over slightly, but you're trying too hard to make me fall.
you dont know what its like to be me cause you'll always remain as you

i really dont know how to pull through another week of school.
its choking me in every way.

come down to me

Words fall out of my mouth
And I can’t seem to trace what I’m saying
Everybody wants your time
I’m just dreaming out loud,
I can’t have you for mine and I know it
I just wanna watch you shine.

Tripping up on my tongue,
It’s all over my face and I’m racing
Gotta get away from you
Burning all the way home,
Try to put it to bed but it chases
Every little thing I do

When the light falls on your face,
Don’t let it change you
When the stars get in your eyes,
Don’t let them blind you.

You’re beautiful
Just the way you are
And I love it all
Every line, and every scar
And I wish that I could make you see
This is where you ought to be,
Come down to me.

Spell it out in a song,
Bet you never catch on to my weakness
I’m singing every word for you.
Here I’m thinking I’m sly
Then you’re catching my eye, and just maybe
You’re thinking what I’m thinking too

When you see it on my face,
Don’t let it shake you
I know better than to try and
Take you with me.

-Saving Jane

that song's beautiful.
full of meaning and stuff, almost like a literature text.
(which reminds me of Mr M = testimonial which was due months ago. oops)

so i shall end off my post with something happier.
my parents say if i do well, i can have anth i want (that is to their budget)
so i was thinking that hmm, im fortunate enough now to be living comfortably.
(but of course now, i can ask for a laptop, since tablet's gone cuckoo. insyallah, if i can make it (: )
but the other day i just thought of smth else!
you know the uber cool clock at the faraday lab (or wtv they call it now)
hehe i thought it'll be so cool if i can have one in my room. :D

okay. im off to do *math*.
dont ask me whats with the stars. kabishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

with lots of loveadovedove,
hanisah

dedicated specially to a special friend

2008-07-07T09:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Friend,
you dont know how much i miss you, even though i dont show it.
its quite silly cause there's nothing to miss,
but i really do miss you
at times when i see you down, or angry, or just lonely,
it makes me feel like running to you
and hugging you tight.
but somehow i just cant.
cause there's barriers everywhere.
since when was there barriers in friendship?
that, i dont know.
but i really hope that you're okay now.
at this moment and in time to come.
at times i just want to give you advice,
so that you'll be strong always.
but words can never seem to come out from my mouth.
nobody knows, how much i care for you,
how i'd give the world just for you,
how much your presence mean to me.
nobody knows, that i secretly pray for you,
secretly smile for you when you're happy.
I'm sorry if i've done anything wrong.
i know we dont really see or talk to each other often now,
but i just want you to know that you're still constantly on my mind.
Dear Friend,
i just want to tell you that i loved you,
am loving you,
and will always love you in time to come.
whenever you need a friend, just know i'll be here.
i'll be supportive of you all the way.
i'll catch you if fall, wipe your tears if you cry.
piggyback you when you're tired, hug you when you're scared.
sing for you when you're lonely, smile with you when you're happy.
clean your wound for you if you fall, even run around the world just to help you out.
fix your heart if its broken, ease your mind when you're stressed.
be your eyes if you go blind.
be your ears when you go deaf.
be your mouth if you go dumb.
be your legs and arms if you're paralyzed.
yes, i'll do anything for my dearest one.

but if only you do know.
i dont know when you'll read this.
or if you ever will.
who knows, you might even be reading this now.
in short, i just wanna tell you how much i love you and care for you.
things might be tough but im always here for you no matter what.
i dont think you realise anything
and i dont know how to tell you anything too.
but 20 years down the road,
will you still remember me as your friend?
will you remember the times we shared?
will you remember this very post that i dedicate to you?
i hope you do, because i wont ever wanna lose a special friend like you.

with all the love in the world,
your true friend

natural highs

2008-07-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with friends
24. Star gaze with your special one
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making CUPCAKES
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

rule of the game: bold the facts that you think are true and applies to you.
tagged: everyone who comes to this blog (:

cause like me, you'll realise that alot applies to you (:
ahh we're so busy now that we fail to realise the simple things in life.

follow the road

2008-07-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

things get pretty screwed up sometimes but its okay.
i got my new earpiece but my tablet went bonkers on me.
im hoping against hope that it doesnt crash
(though i highly doubt so due to the many viruses it has)
sighs. im gonna die if it really does.
i have a gazillion unsent hmwk in there and oh my. the manymany notes and pics.

life's getting very stale now.
i get very worn out by the littlest things.
you dont know what its like to be like me, do you?

i get very confused easily too nowadays.
things are getting a bit scary and im quite scared.
ah. the life cycle.

i dont know what im writing about as you can see.
my mind's kinda blank now.

i'll do a proper useful update soon anw.

sick and tired.

2008-06-30T09:54:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
~~Are you stuck inside a world you hate?~~
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
~~No one ever stabbed you in the back~~
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

overwork

2008-06-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

i never thought it would be this hard.
i should've prepared myself mentally for this.
school i mean.
for the past few days i have been having an average of 3 hrs of sleep. only.
wednesday blues. i have been hating wednesdays since the start of the year.
the workload never seems to stop.
im deprived of sleep and studying time.
eyebags are not something new.
and pimple outbreaks drive me nuts.
take note, its only the 3rd day of school.
awesome.

and the only sole reason im here is because my brain's quite jammed now.
i couldnt think properly throughout the whole day.
i couldnt even concentrate fully and stay awake.
(proof that i was half awake: my amath worksheet. full of really weird, illegible scribblings)
its extremely rare that i just give up doing my hmwk just like that.
im on the verge of a breakdown now. ):
but i like blogging.
i think its a nice form of escape.
though sometimes its like talking to yourself.

on a very much lighter note, we end an hour earlier now on thurs. which is at 2.15! hooray to the world!
but i have csp till six so it doesnt make much of a diff though.
speaking of which, i feel so burdened now.
i dont have the confidence in coping with so many subjs.
but thanks friends and teachers who have supported me all the way.
i know its too late to back out now and change my mind.
and that scares me alot.

so anw. you should check this out too:
http://sweetdaze.blogspot.com
beyond awesome. im really fascinated and inspired (agn)

i hope tmr's a better day.
i hope i can pull through tomorrow.
"we're all in this tgt"
yes i can do it (:

xoxo
hanisah

(thanks, for the strength, for the motivation.)

cupcakes&cakes

2008-06-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

i know many people dont really understand why some ppl really adore cupcakes and cakes (just like i do)
but i swear after seeing this, im very sure i can make ppl change their minds
http://www.flickr.com/photos/65668398@N00/
i've labelled her my most fav best cupcake maker in the whole wide world :D
she's amazing.
yes, me and liy have some wacky plans in being just like her after our o's and totally conquer Singapore's food industry! YEAH BABY!

-
okay so friends, i've realised that i've found my dream (for a part time job at least)
im gonna be a cupcake/cake maker! WHOOOOO.
i've never felt so inspired but i really wanna be as good as her.
maybe even better :D

OH. and have i told you how much im in love with Brandon Boyd!
hehehe he's so omg charming.
he's like the first male artiste that im really really crazy over and me being crazy over an artiste is like, WOW.

ohwell. im rambling again.
but i feel highhhhhhh tonight baby :D

i know it's kinda late but...here's my tag replies (:

2008-06-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

HEH. (i know i've only replied some tags)

aqilah: my bubbles can fly too just like siti's you know! :D and you ah, owe me outing soon ): AND YEAH. the predictions are kinda freaky, im actually waiting for July! LOL (ahemahem)

siti: HAHA bet you still cant solve but nvm. we'll concentrate on proper maths problems from on yeah. :P and yesss i somehow cant wait for school to reopen. cause then my life will be more interesting with all you retarded lovelies ((: sitting at home doing work all day is such a choreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

liy: haha okay! and you also, dah lah, told you alr its a hardddd math problem! lol. and thats not my emo blog. haha okay sort of. its just a rantinggggggg blog :D

amira: yeahh i was quite skeptical when i saw that but ah wells. only time will tell. and ah, im not talking about being aimless in life, just being aimless when we really dont know where to go (: cause surprisingly life's more interesting that way.

okay done. cikgu's driving us mad with all the karangans she gave us. ELEVEN okay. prelims coming real fast, never thought i'll ever be there. really. cause in my eyes (and maybe mind too), the sec1s are well, sec1s. the sec2s are also sec1s. the sec3s are still sec2s. and we are still sec3s (: just like as though our o's are pushed forward a year faster or smth. ah wells. i ramble alot when i overwork. see you people on monday! :D

i wanna be there for you when you need me,
be there for you when you need my help,
always.
for once i feel needed,
thanks for making me feel that way.

cause you're my strength, believe it baby.

2008-06-18T08:11:00.000-07:00

cause you're my strength. says:
when sch reopens you must pushh me to the maxxxxxxxxxx okay!!
Fireflight says:
haha okay we push each other!!! (into the canal?)
cause you're my strength. says:
LOLL i prefer into the school pond
Fireflight says:
HAHAHA OKAY SET

jsyk, you've made my day. (:

so Donut Day 1st anniversary was...(noone wished each other Happy Donut Day, mind you. we were too busy getting pissed/annoyed/upset at the whole fuzzywuzzy situation)
"my day's so fuzzywuzzy im so dizzy" (it surprisingly rhymes!)
the only good thing was during the angklung symposium.
cause our jnrs were all good and i saw my pri2 best friend. hanna, rab and aisyah made my day better.
"aisyah looks so hot!!!!" -quoted from Siti during crezawards.
WHOOOOO. im not gay. LOL.
i like her hair very very much but its sad that im too girly for that kind of hair. ):

the third worst thing was that the bus me and dian wanted to take were all so full we only managed to squeeze into the 1st...2nd...3rd...4th...5th...6th...7th...8th...9th...! into the 9th bus. after waiting for a full goddamnit 55 mins! FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES!!

sidetrack a bit. but rgs girls are all so different.
the super goddamnit bitch sitting beside me during the symposium thing was so freaking annoying. i swear i can go on pages ranting about her. (no not hanna! some unknown irritating rg girl)
but the one in the bus is super nice i tell you. (:

anw. second worst thing. well yeah. cocked-up plan and everyone got upset/pissed/annoyed for some reason or another. i tell you, anth we plan in advance never works. so the other 3 of you, lets join me, raihan and aqilah in being the aimless soulzxzx. (: that way, nothing gets fucked up and we can all be happy carefree ppl :D

the worst thing. one of my teeth is growing 45 degrees slanted and i never realised it was this bad till yest night. you see, the problem here is that its growing slowly now and causes the tooth beside it to get uprooted and causes bleeding. which means i have to remove one of my teeth because even if i do get braces its not gonna help in any way. and i DONT WANT to have that part remain toothless for the rest of my whole entire life.
horrible. cause how can i replace that tooth? freak. i'll look horrible and ugly for the rest of my life. great.

i hate hmwk as much as everyone else does.
i have 16 essays to do and i have only done 5.

cause you're my strength. says:
haha chill we're all in this tgt!
cause you're my strength. says:
((:
the finger; makes the picture that much SEXIER (POINTS THERE!) (: says:
WE CAN!
the finger; makes the picture that much SEXIER (POINTS THERE!) (: says:
PEEE TOGETHER!
the finger; makes the picture that much SEXIER (POINTS THERE!) (: says:
HAHA! oka no. cannot!

loll she made my day too! ((:

okay. im off to try and complete the ridiculous amount of essays we have to do. (mind you, its only essays. so imagine the other workload that we have)

xoxo
hanisah

friday the 13th

2008-06-13T06:30:00.000-07:00

GAWD. i sound so emo in my previous post haha it was not meant to be emo. more like dreamy and happy and stuff. lol
friday the 13th and its such a neutral day (besides the fact tt i cant go for ge1 class outing. but wtv). probably one of the most productive days. did alot of hmwk. (and youtube-ing). everyone complains bout their holidays. but hey, me and raihan (hehe my all time partner! LOVE YOU!) have been coming back to sch for THREE effing weeks. dont know whether i can say tt it's ridiculous. besides the huge pile of hmwk, i've yet to start mugging. yeah shoot me. just from cikgu k, i alr have 10 essays to do. imagine.

ok enough crap. check this out! its from my aunt.

"Mr Juseleeno, born in 1960(reportedly still alive in 2008), is a Brazilian who has made many predictions, and MOST have come to pass, including Princess Diana's death by car accident (which is instigated by someone near her and will probably unfortunately be written off as a car accident), 911 and the 2004 Indonesian tsunami. He sees the future in his dreams, and has an average of 3 to 9 such predictions per day. When he wakes up, he will write them down, and send warnings to those concerned. If it concerns only a normal individual, he will write a letter to warn him/her. If its a famous person (celebrity, politician etc.) or matters concerning the public, he will not only send it to the individual himself/herself, but also related agencies, government and media. He urged the media to publicise these predictions but they reply always went along the lines of rejection for fear of arousing public panic.

Future predictions:

2008, July: There will be an earthquake in Japan which will cause a tsunami of 30 plus metres high to occur as well.

2008, 18th September: An earthquake with magnitude of approximately 9.1 will rock China, simultaneously causing a tsunami of more than 30 metres to occur, resulting in the deaths of more than 1 million people. Although this huge earthquake will happen after the Olympics have ended, there will be a series of relatively smaller earthquakes occuring in China before the huge earthquake. The China government, which is more concerned with the success of the Olympics, will most likely neglect to employ appropriate cautionary measures, thus the high casualty rate. If the China government does not publicise the occurence of these minor earthquakes and evacuate people, the number of deaths will be as predicted.

2008, 17th December: terrorist attack in America

2010: The temperatures in some countries of Africa could be as high as 58 degrees Celsius and there will be a serious shortage of water.

2010, 15th June: The New York Stock Exchange market will fail, causing an international financial crisis.

2011: The research on the treatment of some cancers will be completed, but a new life-threatening virus will appear. People who are infected will die approx. 4 hours of coming into contact with the virus.

2013, 1st-25th November: Research on treatment of cancers, except for brain tumors, will be completed. An earthquake, caused by volcanic eruptions, will happen on Bahama Island of the Canary Islands. A gigantic tsunami of roughly 150 metres will result. America mainlands, Brazil etc., will be affected, with the tsunami pushing into the land as far as 15 to 20 kilometres. Before the occurance of this great gigantic tsunami, the sea/ocean water levels will sink by about 6 metres and large flocks of birds will start to migrate.

2014: A small planet that has been gradually closing in on Earth might eventually collide with Earth and this collision, if come to pass, will affect the survival of humans as a whole.

2015: By the mid of November, the average temperature of Earth could be as high as 59 degrees Celsius. Many people will die from overheat, and international confusion and terror ensues.

2016, April: A huge typhoon will invade China, causing massive damage. The 43rd USA president, George Walker Bush, will enter the hospital, and faces a life or death situation.

2026, July: A super earthquake will occur in Sans Francisco, and it will be named "The Big One". Huge damage to surrounding areas. Many volcanoes will re-activate, and the height of resulting tsunami will be more than 150 metres.

Mr Juseleeno made known his predictions in hopes that people will take heed of his warnings so that these disasters may be avoided. He hopes there will be a major change in the thinking of people's mindsets in the time period 2007-2008. One factor will be the environmental issue of global warming, which is more serious than what some meteorologists assume."

i have alot to comment but i guess this post's long enough. ahwells. i'll be away during the weekends ):
17th/18th!! :D

lost dreams

2008-06-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

filled with regrets. this feels so empty.
i swear i'd take every chance if only i can.
76 more and im still counting, still hoping.
i talk in circles. doubt anyone can understand anyway.

http://itsmyescapade.blogspot.com/

like they say, the only place you can run to when you have noone else to run to, is to your own world.

i've nvr felt this way, nvr thought i will, but i did.
to just burst into tears because you miss too many things, too many people.

xoxo
hanisah

mess.

2008-06-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

a.)having the worst case of rashes ever.
b.)studying for retest &driving me insane
c.)lost all phone contacts
d.)will only have one week of sch break
e.)IM GOING VEGETARIAN FOR THE NEXT MONTH! :D/D: or more like ~~try to~~must avoid seafood, meat &oily stuff. makes no difference than being a vegetarian right? no its nth to do with my rashes (i have to visit the doctor agn for this)

pull me in so deep

i admit life's currently in a mess but i'll fix it soon so tt i can start a new term well. 天下无难事，只怕有心人！
我要逃避（？）

let it out

2008-06-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

6n(-e)
ie(++)
math is becoming more interesting now. no kidding.
go decipher.

waited but you never came.

dengarlah.

2008-06-02T07:16:00.001-07:00

ok. pbmc was great. alhamdulillah everything went perfectly fine and i got worried for nth.
me, hanna and raihan got so high preparing the things tt rab thinks we're mad cause we kept on laughing and laughing for no apparent reason.
somehow took over hanna's role of taking pics. so yeah i took pics so it means i was at every station and GIGGLES it was funny!
everyone had break while the sec4s helped us out to clean the mess *AWWWW*! but it was a great bonding time uhuh (:
feels kinda sad to leave because i love my JK many many many :D
and i would sincerely like to thank all PBMC members out there who came for it. for cooperating and being very supportive, making it an awesome awesome farewell ((:

so its kinda obvious tt im procrastinating now. i still have no freaking idea how to go abt doing the testimonial when the whole world has handed it in. (besides amira heh) GRAH.

i realize i dont talk much abt myself here which is sad cause its my blog after all.

ok. firstly i'd like to talk bout my music taste since i doubt even my close friends know. yes i love FSF and Secondhand Serenade very much because i think they make awesome music. (FSF is NOT a christian band btw. i still dont think tt they should be classified under 'emo' though. but they're alr non-existent now which is sad. cause they're probably my only favourite rock band ever. but but their first lead singer, Chris Carrabba is now the lead singer of Dashboard Confessional :D) but maybe my taste may be slightly different from other teens around my age now. because i really really like other great singers too. like Mariah Carey, Toni Braxton, Celine Dion & Whitney Houston. (though they are well, so called 'old') oh. Leona Lewis has been added to the list recently cause she's just as amazing as them. my all-time fav songs are still their songs btw. (My All, Unbreak My Heart, I Surrender & I Will Always Love You respectively.)
I KNOW. DAMN OLD SONGS. but the songs playing on radio these days somehow could never leave the same impact as the older songs. uhuh.

contrary to popular belief, im nowhere near a bimbo and that can be justified! i bring compact powder/concealer/lip balm to sch ONLY because well the compact powder is just nice for my skin tone. what you cant expect me to use those white baby powder right. i'll look like a ghost no kidding :0 oh yeah. my compact powder has mirror too (: plus. the concealer has been proven useful for those around me ok! to cover up big obvious pimples. sheesh. and lip balm, Singapore's weather has been so hot lately of course our lips get dry easily! perfume is a must cause agn, Singapore's nastily warm weather causes us to perspire alot and stink!
i check my uniform alot in the mirror because its so obvious my uniform is super messy (unlike my friends!) and i have to make sure its neat all the time yknow? (of course i've nvr been caught for my uniform (: )and duh. everyone knows i have messy hair no matter what i do with it. so obviously a comb is a must (actually for many boys and girls out there too okay)
okay. i think tt's enough.

and im procrastinating too much. grahgrahhgrahhh!
ok i shall go do my work now. i'll be back with Part 2 yo!!

xoxo
hanisah

apologies

2008-06-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

im sorry im doing this for my own sake and not for your welfare.
but you're v special to me, in case you dont know that.
not even the stars or the moon can take your place and i mean it.
and jsyk, ilyvm.

xoxo
hanisah

its so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

2008-05-31T09:09:00.000-07:00

its horrible/freaky how most of the time your horoscope seems to be saying and telling you the truth. esp this week. kinda makes you face the reality though. oooh escape!

anws. pbmc is funnn! shall update more soon cause lying down now and typing in the dark is kinda hard. long story. but nvm.

you know sometimes you just feel so troubled but you have no idea what exactly is troubling you? yeah. those kind of feelings sucks ):
but no im not emo. im perfectly fine with myself/life. (:

okay wth i shall go and sleep now.
shall post the pics tgt with the update then (:

xoxo
hanisah

2008-05-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

well here's to a cutey junior of mine

HAPPY 14TH SITI NUR ATIQAH!
ILYT!

LOLL!

xoxo
hanisah

you only turn 16 once.

2008-05-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

and so thanks everyone for making today amazing HEE
for all the wishes, dedications, gifts, card(applies only to my sis).

movie-d in the MORN. and we watched congkak
yeah at 10.45 am. and guess who we saw!! yucks. turn off. lol.
congkak was weirdly amusing (thanks ah aqilah. lol)
but a lil scary cause there was like only 10 or so ppl altgt in the whole cinema and its so darn empty. aqilah insists on sitting in the middle so all the seats in front, beside and behind me were empty............................

so anw. we went shopping after tt for the stuff we needed for the party this sat tgt with hanna and rab. then lot one-d with raihan, carrying all the stuff around like some makciks. lol
then then i got a haircut on an impulse (this one thanks to raihan ahhhhh)
haha but im happy cause my hair's thinner now. and the service is goooood!

so went home after tt and there's this tukang urut at my house. i tell you she's damn weird/freaky. friends, if you think im weird, think twice!
she was uruting my sis and telling her stuff. weird stuff. so she claimed tt there's THINGS in my body. and tt there are things in my house. she wasnt precise. well we werent tt shocked(bout my house) cause our house is beside the forest (well sort of until they cleared a big portion of it to build tt stinking sch which got the Future sch award when it havent even started) so anw. we were quite skeptical. but then she told us stuff tt made us quite shocked. cause my mum left the living room. and yknow from my living room you cant see the other parts of my house besides, well, the back of the living room. BUT she can 'see' what my mum was doing. damn freaky okayy and what she said were all trueeeeee because my younger sis checked.
agn friends, if you think im freaky/weird, THINK TWICE!!

and i was actually quite touched today by the fact tt an old friend, no actually two old friends, actually did rmb my bday. one was my pri sch best friend (whom i miss dearly) and the other one was someone who had made a big difference in my life.

i miss both of them but i particularly miss the latter one.
it might seem like such a trivial matter but you dont know how much it touched me.
because tt person has become a much better person than i used to know.
much more mature i must say. i have not seen her for over a year and i miss and love her very very much. (well, not in tt way)
i miss honeybun! (:
(and it doesnt help tt you remind me alot of her)

okay. soooo today's sna jr's bday! heh happy bday!

and 28th was my parent's anniversary ((:

okay im off to catch some beauty sleep now. SEE YA PEOPLE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
(and yes yes cant wait for saturday yo!)

xoxo
hanisah

2008-05-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

aye. i havent updated for nearly a week though it feels like only a couple of days. or so.

i dont know what to say 'cept tt hol lessons start tmr.
8-3. honestly they should just make it a normal school week.

oh. and i hope more ppl actually will be coming for this sat's party thingy.
i only had less than 30 confirmations out of the SEVENTY TWO msgs i sent. not incl JKs. aiyah not many ppl do come here but if your name's not here reply to me asap whether you're going or not k? (have to cater food la)

sec1s
azirah, qistina, siti amirah, ramizah, ilya, afifah, hannah nasuha, izzati, arifah

sec2s
sab selamat, adlina, nurul, sna, syahirah, afiqah, alyssa, izzah, nadiah, sitifa

sec3s
NONE OKAY

sec4s
liy, siti, aqilah, attiqah, mira, amira, aisyah, ain, nat saf, sharah

alamak pathetic nyerrrr. hahaa. okay im so bored/tired now.
shall continue with my math.
omg i totally have no life man.

that look of hurt in your eyes, makes me want to embrace you.

2008-05-20T06:56:00.001-07:00

DID YOU FREAKING SEE OUR HOLIDAY TIMETABLE.
i almost wanted to cry looking at it.
i know we're taking our o's and stuff this year.
but the other levels only have to come back for TWO DAYS for a few hours.
and we the poor, sad, no-life kidz have to come back for TWO WEEKS from morn till afternoon.
D:
yes im upset. i need my own revision and study time too, you know.

feels like i have so much work load now as compared to before the exams. weird.

that look of hurt in your eyes, makes me want to embrace you.

2008-05-17T10:53:00.001-07:00

Lirikan matamu menawan
Mempesonakan
Kau ku girakan
Senyuman manismu bagaikan
Bunga di taman indah menyerikan
Tiada kata yang dapat ku luahkan
Seindahmu oh juwitaku
Hanya dapat ku membayangkan
Kejelitaanmu di lubuk hatiku
Bagaimana jikalau semua ini
Tidak lagi bersama denganku
Ku berdoa agar dikau mengerti
Yang ku setia terhadapmu
Sayang dengarkanlah
Dikaulah bidadari hatiku
Lautan api kan ku renangi
Hanya untukku memilikimu

dont wanna see another tear in your eye.

2008-05-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

before its too late.
Happy Donut Day yo fellow people!

the L word season 5 seems quite disappointing.
cause there's alot of sex and kissing scenes and tt makes it quite boring and its as good as watching porn :0 oooh R21!
not tt i've watched it fully. just bits and pieces here and there and im alr grossed out.

speaking of which. i dont understand how girly girls can fall for other girly girls. gross. you know what i mean?
cause like um. lets say our sch.
the typical lesbo relationship would be like, a bung or someone rather tomboyish and a girly girl tgt. so like yknow somehow we've this idea somewhere at the back of our minds tt bungs are like um, somewhat guys.
so actually it doesnt look as bad.
but even so falling for girls just seem so wrong. falling as in, really madly in love.
haha okay, im like preaching here.
but its okay and normal for all girls out there to have eyecandies now and then :P
but agn, eyecandy is defined as "someone who is attractive or enjoyable to look at but has no other valuable qualities"
quite sad. cause eyecandies are usually only appreciated for their looks. haha very true indeed!
"girls check other girls out more than they check guys out"
LOL somewhere along tt line.
OKAY heck why am i even talking bout this weird topic!

i know everyone's feeling sucky over results. im no exception too.
in fact i did worse than expected. i didnt do well for subjs i was expecting to. and i did considerably well for subjs i didnt expect to at all.
but its sad how i see tt everyone's like blaming themselves hard because of it. i know tt everyone regrets not putting in a million times much more effort. i know tt its just natural to feel sad and feel bad. i know because i've been there 13 times ever since i entered crescent.
you bet, i've been feeling remorseful over my results since the first exam i took in crescent till now. NOW.

but really i've failed to realize how far i've gone. because what i want, or everyone in fact, is perfect results, those perfect grades. we feel stupid when our friends can get that and we cant. and we start questioning ourselves and then the doubt about our capabilities grow.
but i know i've come this far and there's no way for me to give up. might as well just give it my all. really, all or nothing.
i've got a long way to go and im up for the challenge.
its really just like a one-on-one boxing game with the O's.
make sure you push it down, step on it, dont let it beat you and take over you.
make sure you win, stand up tall and high, look back at the nasty opponent and smile.
at least tt's what i hope. and im gonna make it possible. i will, i will.

so. just wanna let all of my dearest friends out there know, that i'll always be here for you through rain and shine, no matter how close or distant we are. i'll lend a helping hand wherever i can and whenever i can. be it in terms of studies, moral support, being your crying shoulder, anything. you name it. i'll be there. and you guys know why i'm willing to do anything i can for all of you my friends?
so cliche but its true.
cause I LOVE YOU (:
im not very blesssed or lucky as some people cause you know i always run into family problems.
and i really wont know what to do without the support of all my friends. maybe indirectly for many of you.
cause i doubt i can look from another perspective of life if i dont feel the love from all of my friends.
Thank you God, for giving me such a great blessing in disguise (:

okay im not making it sound like i dont love my family.
in fact i love them a lot too.
really.

lol so out of topic.
but nvm. i shall go do some work now. and study for tmr's test :/

xoxo
hanisah

perfect stranger.

2008-05-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

my shoulders ache like hell now. so much that it makes me feel like cryin D: really.
all because of stupid standing broad jump. nat is the bestest SBJ coach! LOL she helped me alot yeahhhhhh :D
im very glad with my pull ups.

okay. i have every reason in the world to be upset over my results now.
i guess i need not say anth bout it huh.
but we're still getting back the other half of all the rest of the papers.
''no matter what there's still hope in everything''

on a very much brighter note, I FOUND MY LOST POUCH!
AND. my csp was cancelled today!
AND AND. i got an A for my csp oral yo! :D

A for csp oral is a goooooood achievement (for me ah) (:

okay. i rly cant take this stupid shoulder ache anymore! GRAHHHHHH!

2008-05-14T09:32:00.000-07:00

im upset beyond words.
i lost my pouch! D:
sucks mannn. okay. im on a mega search now (again)
HELLO PEOPLE OUT THERE.
IF YOU DO SEE MY POUCH PLEASE PLEASEEEEEE I BEG YOU, DO RETURN IT TO ME THANKSSSSSS.
ITS BLACK AND WHITE.
INSIDE THERE'S UH. my
-compact powder
-face cream
-concealer
-lip balm
-face wash
-BIG BOTTLE of perfume
-comb

see how impt it is to me!! ahhh i cant believe my luck.
IM UPSET.
):
so. if you do see it pls return it to me asap kays.
i'll love you forever for tt!

last first kiss

2008-05-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

i have flu now.
and everyone knows how much i hate having flu.
hate it much much much more than anything else in the world.
and i keep sneezing.
bio SPA was weirdly wasnt as hard as expected.
and CSP oral cracks me up. seriously.
ahwells. csp orals have always been stupid.
and i have the bestest csp classmates in the whole wideeeeeeeeeeeee world :D
LOL

walk past and smile.
noone would know anything.
you wont know anything.
dont stay alone.
you dont know tales of that place.
well, i've been there before.

2008-05-12T09:40:00.001-07:00

woah. i just conversed with this unknown chinese man on the phone.
and duh. turned out to be wrong number.
but you dont know how accomplished i felt.
i talked to him in chinese okay.
im so proud of myself yay. after all the practice for tmr's oral. lol.
plus im getting a rly bad sore throat.
not surprised.
i drank so much gassy drinks on fri,
and screamed and shouted and laughed like nobody's business throughout the whole day.
haha im going mad soon.
oh & of course.
HAPPY (belated) MOTHER'S DAY! :D

bio SPA and CSP oral.

2008-05-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

can you believe it.
everyone's enjoying this post exams.
or maybe just relaxing.
but.
i have 2 tests tmr.
yupp.
bio SPA which will be included in the O's.
so its excel or die.
and csp oral.
which i must do well in.
cause i screwed up my paper.
i still cant believe it.
im supposed to do my karangan too.
IF I HAVE TIME.
but sad to say, no.
plus.
they shifted the bio SPA time.
that made me pissed.
cause it means shorter recess.
and amath after that ):
im a sad kid.

it hurts so badly when i fall.

2008-05-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

oh. i forgot bout the day after exams. loll. i have such an amusing company (aqilah, nat, khalie, raihan) for brunch.
aqilah, raihan and me really lived up to our name as the Aimless Soulzzzzz. lol we took two whole hours to walk one big round when we could have just taken the traffic light and take less than 5 mins.
ok fine we dropped by borders too along the way.
i couldnt find FSF's The Final Curtain album D: i was even searching on my knees okay cause who knows its hidden somewhere. how upsetting! i cant find it anywhere even grrrrrrr. alahaiii.
met ain and amira after tt. lol ain's so amusing.
she's scared the light thingy at far east will BURN her skirt if she sits on it.
haha okay. yeahh day was spent well. its always the best to be the Aimless Soulzzzzz no? (;

"The band's music is often classfied as indie rock and is frequently associated with the emo genre. They have also been classified as a Christian rock act due to the individual band members' religious beliefs, frequent themes of Christianity in their lyrics, their association with the predominantly Christian Tooth & Nail Records label, and their performances at Christian-themed festivals such as Cornerstone.[1] Despite these associations, the group often claimed not to be an explicitly Christian band, but rather a rock band with Christian members"

they're normal! HAHA they're the love (:
go listen to Bleed and The Sound if you ppl out there havent, my all time favourite. ((:

xoxo
hanisah

ice ice baby

2008-05-10T09:51:00.000-07:00

okay. im quite amazed at myself at how i can be so angsty at one moment and so relaxed the next.
yest was probably one of the most awesome days i can rmb ever since the start of this mundane year. oh gawd.

so hmmm had learning journey in the morn. nth new or interesting.
ate nicer pratas at this coffeeshop. amira, raihan, genelle and aisah were complaining bout their brothers when su suddenly ran up to us, proudly screaming bout her brother appearing in the newspaper. LOL. me and liy were laughing.

reached sch an hour early. me and raihan raced to the toilet hehe
then played basketball and was perspiring like crazy. Cicaks VS Tikus. lol.

all these rly felt like pri sch days. i miss i miss i miss.

WGB came yo! ahhhh the loveeeeee man. right amira? :D
the sch's so dead its so sad and annoying. refuse to elaborate on this. (but you should know by now from friends blogs) super great company, great music, great/cute singer (;

then rushed home and met agn for crezawards. perspiring like mad while waiting but its okay cause...NYAHAHA.
crezawards was the best one in all the four years that i've been to. i couldnt ask for a greater company man.
singers were good.cheered and clapped so much for friends my arms seriously ache okay. but worth it (: cause su won 2nd for singing, nazeera also won 2nd for dancing and the nc ppl won 1st for dancing yo! ahwells. kelly, emira and X might not have won but im so proud of them too ((:
oooh then that guest performer sang im yours! i still love tt song to bits.heh i love khalie my second singing partner!
and goddddd haha they played Real Love during breakk ahh i love tt song to bits too!
oh yeahh we grooved alot too at the side i swear all of us were very high then.
AND i was half blind throughout the whole thing so i couldnt rly see interesting ppl or the performers clearly. which is sad. ):
then the last guest performers are so ERRRR.
they cant sing or play properly (their drums are too loud. voice drowning in all the noise) "crussssssss crussssssssss crusssssssss"
LOL i tell you, its so traumatic i'll be traumatized whenever if i listen to tt song agn. HAHAHA. even roslina agreed with me on this okay!!

so. thanks aqilah, siti, amira, raihan, khalie, nat, attiqah, liy and amanda for the great awesome company.

okay yay my post is very long now and my blog looks very filled (:
oh yeah. i like my new skin! heh cute noooooo?
and nooo. apple's not a person btw if you're wondering. the exams just made me develop this weird, unexplainable love for apples. :D
i ate them like almost everyday ever since the exams started. goshhhh.
go red apples, go green apples!!!!!!!

LOL so retarded

just three steps away. but i didnt dare say a word. looking back, it feels so different.
all those talk about just being yourself. its total rubbish. cause if you really do be yourself, you'll face a risk of losing what you want, whats precious to you. but in my case, i know i'll lose you if you know the truth.

xoxo
hanisah

let go of my hand, dont lead me on.

2008-05-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

THANKS FOR CRUSHING MY WORLD, THANKS SO MUCH AH.
TOO BAD, YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL FOR ME TO STAB YOU IN THE HEART.
SO LETS GO TO SOMEWHERE FAR WHERE KILLING IS NOT A CRIME AND I'LL PUSH YOU OFF THE CLIFF.

guide me through;

2008-05-07T08:27:00.000-07:00

i just have to write this down cause it bugs me.

Ms C,
im sorry. im sorry for everything, really.
i screwed up paper 1 damn bad, im sorry if i get an f9 for it.
i tried to make it up by working hard for my paper2. but somehow something inside me tells me that its not enough.
i shouldnt have any high hopes, but i really hope i'll make it.
i've never felt that i've let any teacher down worse than you.
in fact i can honestly say that i've never felt like i've let any teacher down even. im feeling so guilty right now. you believed so much in me, you've helped me so much. but i chose to put in only half of the effort you want me to. by the time i regret it, i guess it's alr too late, since paper 1 was alr over days ago. stop being so nice, will you. it adds to my guilt even more. if i were rly to fail my amath mids overall, i swear to you i'll work super hard, and make you proud by getting for you an A for my prelims. i'll make you proud. this i promise you.

xoxo
hanisah

2008-05-06T09:18:00.000-07:00

im sorry
no other words harder to express than this.
i really am. you must know this.
Time confuses me.
Time makes things harder to accept.
im sorry this had to happen now.
i hope it doesnt affect you.
well, doesnt affect you that much at least.
just ten steps away but it feels like miles
things are just not the same as it used to be years ago
god bless you.
from the bottom of my heart,
again im sorry&i love you.

4. scroll down and you'll get what i mean.

foolish games

memories that will never fade

2008-05-02T10:34:00.000-07:00

so i was organizing the photos in my tablet and oh my. i found so many pics! some here:

this was seriously like a matter of life and death

yayee my grp is awesome! MNS rmb?

half of the malay kampong in s3 (:

raya outing with gee1 peeps yo! oh'six

dikir. I MISS!

these are my gay(happy) friends in sec2 :DD

i miss this whole clan!

i rly think this pic is damn damn cool. i like belly much.

raya outing! oh'seven

Mat Cowboy crew babeh! oh'five

i miss amanda i miss shyan i miss them ):

winners of the cheer competition :D 1gee1 oh five

lol didnt rmb this pic. aisyah with emo pose?!

dont rmb this pic either. i likeeeee this pic!

EH. sec one, term 1 class party. LOL

class outing (:

the pink attackkkkk!

lol okay thats about it. i need to go to sleep now!
bye folks!

I chose to love you in silence,for in silence I find no rejection

2008-05-02T09:38:00.001-07:00

Quote of the day:
-I chose to love you in silence,for in silence I find no rejection-

what a wise statement there.
the hall light totally died midway through our chem paper and i could swear you could hear people rejoicing.
but things could never seem to go totally wrong and i didnt freaking finish my paper though we were given extra time.
plus lit gives you this weird kind of excitement, rly.
like you'll be so absorbed in writing and you're competing against time.

oh. i just rmbed what else i need. A NEW PENCILBOX AND PURSE!
its so hard to find one that's like my current one, the same material and all. i think i'll have to resort to buying it overseas, worse come to worst.
and. my mum got pissed over the whole bag thing. which means no new bag for me D:

I HAVE NO LIFE MAN. MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND ALL THESE KIND OF THINGS. D:

i find myself stuck onto you;ily

2008-05-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

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2008-05-02T08:21:00.001-07:00

2008-04-30T08:08:00.000-07:00

i feel like being rebellious now and not sudy ):<

i want to complain bout so many things! its okay if you cant tolerate you can just leave this blog (:

FIRST, i missed the annual b&j's free cone day because i had csp test which ended so freaking late. i only reached home near EIGHT.

SECOND, emath, ss, bio and csp are all EQUALLY HORRID. like i totally totally screwed them up. im rly not kidding (the only not screwed paper is LIT and well, lit's nvr rly been screwed anyway. whichever way you turn, its kinda hard to fail lit.)

THIRD, the weather's been so freaking hot lately and i keep perspiring! STUPID. then the hall will be freezing cold. totally bad for my health dude.

FOURTH, alot of ppl are using my phone now! i dont mean to make it sound like im spoilt or anth of that sort (which i am not obviously) but its rly annoying to just turn ANYWHERE in the train and see AT LEAST ONE person using the same phone (maybe diff colour) like i first bought it cause at that time i've seen NOONE using it. GRRR. AND the same thing happened too, to my old phone ):<

FIFTH, alot of my fav songs are starting to play on radio! okay this makes me sound a bit spoilt too (so not) but its rly annoying. like suddenly everyone starts listening to it, it becomes so overrated and you just suddenly lose that special touch with the song ): but ahwell. been wanting to rant bout that since forever. annoying pls.

SIX, my tolerance is rly wearing thin. i refuse to elaborate on this. ):<

SEVEN, i rly cant stand the idea of living beside a house full of ghosts okay. its rly scary and creepy and freaky esp whenever i come home after nine. drives me crazy whenever i have to pass by the house. GAH GAH GAHHHHHHH.

EIGHT, 2 other girls in sch are now using the same bag as me!! ahhh its so annoying. but thank god my bag's gonna be spoilt soon (dont ask how). so that gives me a reason to get a new bag (:

okay im done complaining (: (for now)
i was high on apples today. god so weird. i kept going back to buy the apples even the stall auntie questioned me.

i had 3 dreams yest night, and many random ppl appeared in it! of course man, 2 out of the 3 dreams were scenes in sch :/
yep. sch's haunting me THAT MUCH.
-

idk if its just me or just a fragment of my imagination.
but its rly horrible.
you dont know what im talking about.
you dont know even know im talking bout you.
it'll be a miracle if you do end up here reading this.
but i could pretend that miracles happen not only in fairytales right?

-
okay i should've warned you. stress makes me either high or emo. only those two.

OH YEAH. GUESS WHO I HAD TO UNLUCKILY SIT BESIDE DURING HMT PAPER2 JUST NOW! :0 urgh i purposely moved my table closer to rayhanah's and it was out of line but i dont care. i dont need such distraction tyvm. HAH i knew it, i've always had this feeling smth will happen to make me not like her, ever since the first day i saw her. (omg!! i accidenally put rayhanah's name as rihanna. LOL)

IM IN DESPERATE NEED OF A NEW BAG, A GOOD NEW EARPIECE, A PROPER ORGANIZER, NEW CLOTHES, A NEW HOUSE, A FUNCTIONING BRAIN AND SLEEEEEEEEEP!

okay. i typed all those in an hour and managed to cover almost all of my chem topics. im a happy mugging multi-tasker (:

omg i just wanna add one last thing. I HAVE A SUPER WEIRD MUM! she's in her room, just next door, and she just called me on my HANDPHONE just to remind me not to sleep too late and to switch off the lights before i sleep. and that she'll call me again before i sleep. OH GOD my mum's so weird.

xoxo
hanisah

2008-04-26T08:04:00.000-07:00

so far, the mids has been disastrous.
mly paper one was utter crap. i spent 15 mins just to think up of the content for both parts.
el paper one confused me so bad i just stared at the paper for 10 whole mins, trying to figure out the actual meaning and thinking up of a plot, which still turned out to be very boring in the end.
then the worst part was the speech, because me (and many others too) didnt realise/rmb that there's a back page, thus, we did not include those impt points in. ALAMAKKK.
i felt like crying until i got a great big hug and a big happy high five from SH after she told me that the same exact thing happened to her too, which actually did make me feel better (:

okay yay, 4 papers down, 14 more to gooooooo! WE CAN DO IT BABY! :D

oh. me and raihan were reminiscing bout the good ol' days, our previous higher mly class. that part nearly escaped from my memory. suddenly makes me feel like running back to those days.

my papers are not over but...

I FEEL LIKE PARTYING!!!!

xoxo
hanisah

2008-04-22T07:38:00.001-07:00

i cried
i became angry
only because i cared
only because i loved
if i were to die tomorrow
from choking on my tears
or maybe just by heaven's will,
i'll die with a thousand regrets.

2008-04-20T07:39:00.001-07:00

Kau Ilhamku

Beribu bintang dilangit
Kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rembulan mengambang
Kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah

Sedetik wajahmu muncul
Dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan
Terima kasih kuucapkan

Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri khayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai lagu ini
Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh...
Sekadar memori
Kita di arena ini
KAU ILHAMKU.

if its alr gone, why do i still behave and feel this way?
you know, sometimes i dont understand myself at all.
i hate it when ppl jump to conclusions.
cause i dont even understand myself, what more about you?

Fall For You

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a ~~girl~~ like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start

Ohhhh
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a ~~girl~~ like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a ~~girl~~ like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a ~~girl~~ like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Maybe

Didn't you want to hear
The sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
The expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold hard road when you wake up
And I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
And I'm here to sing
About the things that mattered
About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you
I might even sing this song, to you
And I was crying alone tonight
And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
Better than it ever was

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
(I want it all, Don't leave right now)
(I'll give you everything)

is it still okay, if i were to tell you the truth now?
im sorry but i cant run away from the fact tt its bothering me.
its okay if things go wrong. but you know how selfish i am.
i want everything but want to lose nothing.
i dont dare to turn, cause if i do, you'll look into my eyes and you'll just uncover the truth.
insane, absurd.

xoxo
hanisah

2008-04-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

yayy im finally gonna blog nownownow!

its kinda late but since not many have blogged abt it, i shall talk bout the I Am Gifted thingy.
it was a-w-e-s-o-m-e! first day, laughed so hard i cant recall when was the last time i laughed so much in a day.
second day was damnnnn emo HAHA the first time a stranger actually made meus CRY okay. but it was rly damn emotional.
third day was great too. agn it was quite an emo day too but not as bad. even SuperHero cried okay! :0
my parents should've come but ohwell. kudos to those who were rly brave enough to go up and make the speech, rly awesomely brave ppl.
so overall, the whole thing was rly awesome. NOT BAD food, good lemon biscuits, good entertainment, good lessons, good strategies, good facees (LOL), good company.
if i could, i would do it all over again.

yest was beautiful sky day! train was weirdly super late so everyone was late BUT there was a super pretty rainbow! :D
and the sky was just so beautiful throughout the day.
had night study and agn it was AWESOME! hahaha the company is perfect, although no siti and no raihan. (but a slight change is still awesome!) fried rice sucks but brenda claimed its nice (tt's why we took it). that AMR influenced the rest by making them convinced tt im crazy! D:

today had unofficial ymc graduation planning! ended up with only 5 of us coming, but raihan left 1/2 way so only ended up with 4 of us. that spells pathetic. but nvm, we're the awesomest yo! :D

err yeah thats it i guess. had alot of tests this week. 7=madness.
next week mids! good luck everyone! *lovelove*

my mum made a good deal with me IF (if ah, if) i can get 5 points for O's. TOTALLY NO COMMENTS.

and this week, i learnt smth new bout myself! (HAHA)
that is, if i give up(in anything at all), there's only 2 reasons why.
1.) i totally lost interest.
2.) i know its not possible/no hope. (dont try telling me 'nothing is impossible'. be realistic dude, there's so many things tts rly rly impossible in this world)
haha so there! came to this conclusion when i was studying for bio test -.-

ok im off now. doubt i can find the time to blog, till after mids. ):
AND the sch's turning us into pandas D:

xoxo
hanisah

reflect. sit down and think.

2008-04-16T08:35:00.000-07:00

i have some things to update on but i rly rly cant find the time. this weekend, i must. or it'll just escape from my memory.

"One day you will ask me which is more important?
My life or yours?
I will say mine.
And you will walk away, not knowing you are my life."

xoxo
hanisah

horoscope

2008-04-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHALIE(and twin)! :D
yaye. i love my fated friend (:

hello world. i know, this post is so redundant and i should be mugging for my chem mock tmr. but. this horoscope thing, is quite disturbing to me. as much as i know tt it is against my faith to actually believe in horoscopes, i can never deny that they are true 99% of the time. check out mine today:

The Bottom Line
Don't believe the stories you're hearing about someone. And don't pass them on.

In Detail
Do not believe all the juicy stories you are hearing about someone right now. They might be awfully entertaining, but they are also not true. You don't usually believe everything you hear without question, so why start believing now? Think about how you would feel if it were you who were the subject of such gossip. Apply some real empathy to this situation. The next time someone tries to use you to spread this type of story around, don't pass it on. Make it stop with you.

haha does that sound familiar?

i tried looking. but you seem so far away. so near, yet so far away.
if one day you were to know, know the truth.
would you hate me for who i am?
or would you love me and cherish me more for that?
would you push me away, push me to the ground?
or would you reach out your hands to help me up?
would you ignore my presence, my existance?
or would you still guide me through and bring joy to my life?
i'd like to know, i'd really like to know.

xoxo
hanisah

2008-04-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

another hour to the end of our extended I Love You week.
so sad, cause my mood was obviously down throughout the whole week except monday (thanks alyssaaaaa ((: )

this week was an exceptionally challenging one.
i've been put on a test in many ways.
strength of perseverance, strength of faith, strength of patience, strength of emotion, strength of will, strength of mind.
though i doubt its coming to an end today, but its okay, i'll fight on like a brave fighterrrrrrrr

okay i dont think im talking bout anth tt's beneficial now. i have to write around 400 word long testimonials each for RHN, AMR and SNA SR. but i dont even know how to start.

SAY HELLO TO AN AWESOMEEEE WEEK AHEAD!
(sarcasm)

oh. tmr's gonna be our last day for angklung though. dont know if i should feel good or sad. but it has like been a part of me, since the last 4 yrs. if i ever wanna be part of angklung ensemble agn, i must really work hard to go nj. i hope. i'll update bout it soon. yeah.

xoxo
hanisah

take me for who i am

2008-04-05T00:45:00.000-07:00

oh wow. i realised i havent blogged for a week. (the -you you you you you- post doesnt count though.)
im supp to be studying/doing my work or anth of tt sort, but im terribly upset i cant go for nj drama today (when the whole world is like going for it). fine, not the whole world. but i feel so left out. BOO. i feel like a spoilt brat. but its okay. to make up for tt, i shall write a longgg post today(now)!

ok i dunno where to start. this week has been bad and i refuse to elaborate any further. my tolerance level couldnt get any higher this week.

road run wasnt tt bad. good even, cause we missed emath. i have the wackiest class chairperson ever. she walked around the sch throughout the whole day barefooted. and she was trying to be the gay wedding planner. (with her scratchy gay voice) we were laughing so hard even our toes laughed along.
taka after sch for lunch; realised tt we're so deprived. havent been going anywhere much except lotone :/
night study in sch at night (DUH). was awesome, me and partner loved it belly much. then there was a trigger factor which made me so happy. had impromtu amath, with ms chua, nadhirah, dhanu, and of course partner and me. left sch at 8 plus, nat and sharah were star gazing. the sch is rly beautiful at night; reminds me of mly camps. ):
walked to redhill, agn it was rly nice. reached home at 9 plus, bathed and totally conked out. oh, grandaunt slept over (:

okay, i cant rmb much tt happened this week. cause my mood was quite terrible. only rmb being pissed every single day. HAHA. oh. the donation thing. they collected it back, i used my money to donate, dont know what name to put. so i ended up putting down Clover Lim! haha so retarded.

OH. i was torn as to whether i should go for the malaysia field trip or adam khoo's workshop. cause both events clash you see. and i rly wanna go for both. but, i think. i've decided to go for the adam khoo's workshop.

gosh yeah. 2.4. i improved by 40s! haha okay not so good but its okay. i havent been actively involved in sports for so long now, but i realised there's a main factor as to how i could keep up my stamina. so easy. here's a tip for you ppl out there:
come late to sch! hahah. reach redhill at 7.10 everyday, without fail. then walk by the back route. not just walk, but brisk-walk. then you have to climb up the stairs of the bridge fast. then walk faster from the bridge to the sch gate. when you're halfway to the hall/parade sq, run/jog. (so as to reach the hall/parade sq at 7.19)
there! haha our usual morn routine. rly helps the leg muscles you know :D

and and i have my invisible 'motivator' running with me by my side! xD yay i love you my dearest motivator! *HUGS*

mr m told us abt our prom night. its gonna be on 17/11/08 people!!!! haha rename's used-to-be donut day and of course, our drama production date (a year ago) !!!! but its so scary how time flies. i think we're too comfortable in our comfort zone tt we dont wanna go out of it. which is sad. i dont wanna leave everything behind and start anew. my batch's too awesome to be true.

ok this post is quite long, though sadly not as long as i wanted it to be. and oh no! five mins to five=start of nj drama D:
okay, im back to a sad kiddo again.

(oh, and im the kind who rly hates to shareeeeeee ): i sound like a bitch but its true. but no, its okay. i dont mind sharing my food with ppl though :DD spread the love for the food!!)

xoxo
hanisah

2008-04-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

You.
You.
You.
You.
You.

say no more.

2008-03-29T09:31:00.001-07:00

i really hate it when i cry.
when i cry due to frustration.
or fear. or well, just sadness.

i know life's not perfect. im not asking for a perfect life either, cause i know that sucks as much. im just asking for simple things in life, i bet thats not so hard to get right?

im sorry if i've been a bitch lately.
im very close to giving up this fight. and just letting my emotions take me over.

im sorry if i've been keeping to myself and refusing to talk.
i know its not good, but i'd rather keep everything to myself.
since this world is full of liars. im no exception.

im sorry i've been a fool. cause its time i get over you.
its not like im ever gonna give my heart a chance to change my mindset.

im sorry i suck in acting. cause i just cant seem to conceal the way i feel through my actions, thoughts and words.

im sorry that you're starting to grow into the picture. i nvr rly thought this would happen. but who else could give me so much confidence, pride and laughter?

im sorry that i always judge people. its not my fault that it's human nature to judge someone based on first impressions/experiences. cause like, i dont believe that such people dont have a good side to them. we're all humans.

i have many precious memories within me. i realise, that one of my worst fear is to lose my memory, and forget about every bittersweet moment that had happened throughout my life.

amirah,
do you rmb the times when we hang out tgt all the time, play tgt, stick tgt throughout those 3 yrs in kindergarten, how we would go crazy over spice girls and barbie dolls?
cause i do.
(i miss you darling, where are you?)

azyan,
do you rmb the times when we were so close,when you were my first best friend in the new sch, when you were the one who made me feel like i fit into the new sch?
cause i do.
(thanks and sorry love, i'll promise to meet up very soon)

rename,
do you rmb the times when i had just gone through the worst days and you guys turned it around and made my day? when we will just be happy and gay and free?
cause i do.
(you guys are awesome all in all, loved you, loves you and will always do)

girlclique,
do you rmb, the times when we would run into problems, but we would brave through it tgt? when we would support each other and reach out to one another, love each other with all our hearts?
cause i do.
(the great teachers in my life, mould me into who i am now. you guys are incomparable, i swear.)

hanizah,
do you rmb the times when you would hold me tight, give me your support and was the only one who held me through that crisis?
the silly arguments we used to have, which only made us understand each other more?
cause i do.
(its okay not to be close at all anymore. just dont be a minah, okay love)

SWQ,
do you rmb BG station, the way i sucked at pretence? when your antics would make me smile?
cause i do.
(i still suck at pretence. but i wont deny bout the whole issue, cause you're rly an awesome person)

family,
do you rmb the times when those days back then would just go by happily, no bickerings or disagreements? when life goes on just like a story from a fairytale?
cause i do.
(and i love all four of you, i rly do.)

M,
do you rmb the times when we would rant to each other bout random, silly stuff? when we would go around sch and be too shy most of the time to say anth more than a hi?
cause i do.
(im glad the hamster's still alive and you didnt drown it. and hope your relationship with that person goes on smoothly (:)
-
-
okay i think i talked too much now. woah. i realised just by typing this post, i've released alot of my emotions/ angst. and im feeling tons better now. which is good. i should do this more often man.

xoxo
hanisah

yah azizi is mahiri;

2008-03-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

this week was more tiring and hectic than the weeks before.

lets see. on thurs i actually went for csp 1/2 way through angklung. and im sure glad i did causeeee we played charades! :D hahaha i was Laughing My Ass Off. i learnt a lot and caught up on my work, plus the company's goooood. (:

yest's trip to the L place was the highlight of the day. escalator incident was maluating but damn funny. i shant elaborate much here so do go to www.xanga.com/recessionblues to read about the amazingly interesting incident. nyahaha.

BUT i finally bumped into harneyZah! :DD yeah, of all places. i ~~miss~~ that minah!

so yest, i was horrified at myself. it was 9. i was reading through the amath formulas on my bed. it was so comfy and i was tired, so i started to lie down while reading it. and god knows when/how come, i fell asleep. till 12 plus. then i panicked and started msg-ing ppl. and agn, i have no idea how come, but i fell asleep agn...till 6.30 in the morn. madness cause i didnt even do my mly karangan, nor did i complete my hist essay. (you see, the teachers said tt the work's due by the end of the week. and me being who i am, literally take their word for it and always hand in my work on saturdays.)

so went to sch for emath mock (sad for me) and amath. after which, me and raihan had cheap thrills :DD (at the L place, mind you) you know, lotone can never run out of good food. i've been there manymany times, i can confidently say over 10 times since this year only, and i nvr get tired of the food there.

and my dad told us smth which i thought was very...thought-provoking and doesnt make sense. cause you see, in the company which he works in, there was a high demand for the aircons. and, they had been getting the aircons from the original factory/place itself, which is in japan. but then, for that particular time/week, the demand was too high such that the branch's not allowed to order anymore. so, there will be no more stock and ppl will have to wait till next month if they want it. i thought thats very weird. i mean like, isnt it better to have higher sales? so like yknow, the company can make money? but its funny though. when he told me that, my first reaction was to laugh. ok, its just rly very thought-provoking and my dad totally didnt help in enlightening me.

my mum's rly considering to learn how to drive (yeah, the last time she wanted to but in the end didnt, was 10 yrs ago) and so is my sis. this is cool. my dad can buy a new sleek motorcycle to drive to work to, so my mum/sis can drive/ fetch me to and from sch :D

on the darker side, i lost a member of the extended family just 3 days ago. i may not be close to her (my late grandaunt) but everyone's so bonded i still do feel the pain. but what im sad about is not abt tt.
it started on mon, my mum called me up to tell me tt she's at the hospital, so which means i have to get my own dinner after sch. my dad came home from work after fetching my sis from sch. he asked me if i wanted to come along. but i declined, with the reason i have a test the next day and lots of hmwk to do.
the next day, the same thing happened. my dad asked me the same thing agn, but yet agn, i declined his offer. but, i found out tt my grandaunt had actually slipped in the toilet, hit her head, and her skull cracked. so she had been in the ICU for the past few days, lying unconscious. i was quite terrified (and slow). so i made a promise to myself to rly rly visit her this weekend, no matter what.
i thought, i thought i had that much time. it nvr crossed my mind tt anth would happen during tt short period of time.
but on wed, my mum called me in the middle of lit, and she told me bout the news. she's gone.
i was quite speechless actually.
but as you know, you cant turn back time. no matter what, i cant bring her back to life, i cant see her agn for just one more time. to make things worse, i cant even attend her funeral cause as usual, my lessons only ends at 3.15.

but this, made me learn so much.
i'll learn to cherish everyone every single day, with every single way possible.
i'll learn to put my family above myself and my studies.
this incident had woken me up. that i cant turn back time. that i cant take anything for granted, how little or small it is.

this is such a weirdly long post man.

(mujko samhjo dil peh mat lo)

xoxo
hanisah

im sorry i lied to you.
you know you'll still be in my heart.

2008-03-25T06:49:00.000-07:00

okay, some pics are late. totally not in order:

(we look so damn serious. HAHA. sab only ate 1/2 her food! *starts lecture on kids in africa not having enough to eat*)

sports day= lousy stadium + weird ppl + bad weather + boredom

aye, so cool dont you think. we took this pic and coincidentally, the word keller is right on top of our heads!

i think, this pic is amazing. like the balloons behind us looks like its meant to be there. nice background, i say.

liylove!

hoho my new ec! NYAHAH. she's the cutest thing on earth, i swear.

we look so...big. hahah.

today, i was busy rushing through my csp notes for my test. and yknow where schools have this idol thingy? well yes, clementi town has one too and had their auditions just now. i was panicky, cause i rly know nuts. in the midst of it all, suddenly, there was this guy, who started strumming on his guitar, singing I'm Yours. it was so beautiful, so goddamn beautiful it made me stop for a moment.
&
also, on the way back home in lava's parent's car, I'm Yours, the acoustic version, started playing. and at the same exact time, we passed by ABCDEFGHI (in short, my fav place/area). once again, it was such a beautiful moment.

im beginning to love tuesdays now, and today was one of the better tuesdays. csp test was hell but its okay. cause ~~today~~ everyday is my day.

me and siti discovered smth new. consuming too much apricots is rly bad. cause we were munching on em throughout the whole day (monday) and after tt, we experienced this burning feeling in our throats, which rose up right to our ears. very stingyyy. and my lips was swollen for a moment there. oh, plus it causes very bad constipation too. haha see, a little is nice, but too much is badddddd. very baddddd

oh. saturday was total love. thanks sab for the morning <3
lunched with norm peeps + nazreen. and ymc-ed after tt.
ymc was good, it was somewhat make-up donut day. cause frm crescent, only the usual 6 of us were there. and we each had at least 3 munchy donuts. for free. yummyumm.

zan freaked me just now. she was telling me bout the sec2s doing the same skit as we did 2 yrs ago for drama. and she started reciting her lines. FROM TWO YEARS BACK. TWO YEARS! the exact same lines. im surrounded by freaky ppl/friends.

from now on, tuesdays are going to be lovely days. oh, mass run was awesome btw. finally, finally we had mass run. for once in my whole entire crescent life, im happy/excited for it.

xoxo
hanisah

its not everyday that i can see you smile that way;
cause everytime i see you, my heart skips a beat.

you are as sweet as candy; you're my sugar dandy

2008-03-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

its so late now and i ought to go to sleep cause im meeting sab damn early tmr (such an unearthly hour) and i gotta wake up at 6.
but today's 22nd march (:

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY HANIZAH! :D
ahh loves. (damn they're all turning legal this yr!) she'll probably not read this and i wont make her to do so. but i can tell you, she's one of the most awesome snrs i've had in crescent. maybe the most awesome one even. im not exaggerating just cause she used to be my ec or whatsoever.
but for the awesome friendship,
for the countless times when we will be entertaining each other in classes via sms (in sec2),
for the lessons you've taught me (abt life and yeah, studies too),
for helping me through hard times,
for keeping me warm and safe,
for the advices tt i still keep in mind till now,
for the smiles you have given me,
thank you a hell lot.
i think i lost you somewhere. old times that i miss but cant get back. we'll meet up for coffee someday soon, i hope.

and happy birthday too, to GERALDINE, IZMIR and HAKIMAH (:
haha though all of them most probably wont read this. (cause one's my jnr, the other one's my pri sch friend whom im so not close to, and the other is my previous crescent snr whom im not even sure if she knows i exist. HAHA)
but so cooooool. before this i didnt know that many ppl that i know celebrates their bday on 22nd march (((: <- got to know tt through friendster lol

for many songs, i dont rly look much into the lyrics. but till today, i didnt realise how beautiful the song I'm Yours by Jason Mraz is. rly rly beautiful song. a la peaceful melody.

its dumb, i've never cried over something so stupid before. but today i did and i dont know why. pms, pms.
im suddenly feeling all so inferior, stupid, broken.
you can add selfish to the list too.

tmr's a long day (8am to 11pm!) and i ought to be asleep by now. but god, i just cant.

we can let go of people, but where are we supposed to leave the memories? cause memories are stubborn, they wont ever leave.

xoxo
hanisah

curang yang mana, yang dapat memisahkan rasa setiaku ini

2008-03-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

ohmyshit there's PRELIMS el oral next fri/sat and noone in my class knows bout it. until i find out from ain, who is in s2, and at least mrs rupa did inform them way beforehand. im we're doomed. and i have no freaking idea why the orals are so early when prelims is like...6 months later.

plus, my friend's having this performance with her sisters. as in a SPECIAL&GRAND concert just by the 3 of them. and i found out tt actually, they need to hold their own concert to like, get smth like a diploma, a cert to be a qualified dance teacher. like OMG how cool shit is that :0 a qualified dance TEACHER at 16! amazing man, amazing. im so proud of you.

and i've such a random friend. like siti. she just randomly msged me to tell me that today she went out without tying her hair and she hadnt done so in a very long time. -.-

mengikut hati; tidak menghiraukan yang lain.

2008-03-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

im so freaking pissed.
i wrote one whole long angsty post to prove many many many points. (nvm i dont care i shall rewrite the post agn i dont careeeeeeee)
and it just screwed up and DISAPPEAR.
today's wednesday, so its not unexpected that i just had a bad day. mentally, physically, emotionally.
i cant get any more angsty today.
blogger, you cheated my feelings so badly. goodbye to you for the moment.
and for the mean time, i'll be @imahappyballon. uhuh.

~~xoxo~~
hanisah

2008-03-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th birthday!
hope you like the bag tt i got you (: (lol you better do)
love you muchhhh :D

and

Happy Donut Day (:
we're no longer having anymore donut day soon though, cause we're getting sick of donuts. maybe smth else. like pastry day or cookie day or cupcake day or ice cream day or cake day. okay i dont know.

there's hist mock test tmr and you know how much i dislike hist tests of any sort. its nice to travel back into history but ohwell, i dont know. SBQs and SEQs are not rly my cup of tea. if they're ever gonna allow us to drop combined humans, i'll be the first in the school (or singapore for that matter). and i dont care if i've paid for the o's. they say combined's easier. but i dont see the point in getting a grade twice better for your pure humans than combined, everytime. this really sucks.
i feel very lousy lately i dont know why. i cant stop feeling stupid for wasting my holidays away just like that and not even study. can you believe it. my hols gone, just like that.
okay, im feeling very angsty now. im not gonna appear online though. i dont feel like talking to anyone. but if you rly need to talk to me, or feel like you can cheer me up(hahahehehoho), do just send a msg there. if im online i'll reply you k thanks.

but. on a brighter note. siti realised we could use that song for our taridra moves and its rly hilarious. lol.
oh and just to let the world know. yes, the other night i dreamt of joanne huang. JOANNE HUANG! of all ppl. hurrrr.
plus, there's crazy sales going on everywhere and its driving me nuts. cause the next time i'll have time to shop and not be broke will most prolly be around after exams. which is bad. retail therapy seriously helps, you know.

xoxo
hanisah

2008-03-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

everyone's so sad that some danny guy from a.i. is out.
and i had no clue who he is (or even know that he exists) until everyone starts blogging about him being out.
which goes to show, how i totally have no life.
i think im probably the only human in singapore who only watches 1 and a half episode of a.i. for this season. (except for my father of course since he always comes home late)
im sad, i've no life.
.
.
.
.
.
and siti just had to remind me about the biografi karangan when i had totally forgotten bout it and so happy bout the fact that i thought my hmwk is nearly done. this.ish.sho.badXzx.

and now suddenly my ears are blocked. and there's like this weird sound ringing in my ears.
like you know when the doctors try to save someone but they cant and the lifeline suddenly will go like...
"peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet"
okay yeah, you get the gist of it.

~~xoxo~~
hanisah

2008-03-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

secretly and unknowingly,
you made my day.
the more i know you're there,
the more i learn to cherish you.
its not easy doing this.
but this time, im taking control of my feelings.
i wrote a song for you,
but i dont know if i'll ever have a chance,
to sing it to you with all my heart.
i dont know if i'll have the guts to do so.
in case you didnt notice,
i tried being there for you all along.
i showed no signs, no moves.
but i was secretly there with you.
its not easy eyeing your moves without being seen.
but i did and noone noticed.
they had other distractions,
but those were just shallow and fake.
i know you have been through hard times,
times when i dont even know how to help you.
times when all i could do was to pray for you.
i think your charisma makes you stand out,
from the rest whom i thought were real.
you cant see it,
but i smile at every little thing you do.
the way you make me be the best i can be,
its just so surreal.
just by being there,
you're already my motivation.
for this, i'll forever treasure you.
-

i've never felt like i've written any other post thats as sincere as this.
dont be mistaken, dont judge, dont assume.
and dont let this post mislead you.
like i said, its probably one of the most sincere post i've ever written.

hello there special one, thanks for making my day (:

xoxo
hanisah
-
cause you're my dejavu. says:
does your dog chases cats?

Acorns Acorns Acorns says:
my mom is trying to teach my dog to shake hands now,haha. My dog is afriad of cats

Acorns Acorns Acorns says:
he's a very spoiled dog
-
hahah that got me laughing. isnt that something new? :D

2008-03-13T08:58:00.000-07:00

on wed, it wasnt raining, though it SEEMED like it was raining. but my 2 retarded friends happily opened up their umbrellas and use it all the way to the busstop.

at the busstop...
AR: eh, payung aku kering seh! (my umbrella is dry)
R: mestilah, tak hujan pon! (of course, it wasnt even raining!)

loll we (me, R and AN) had a good time laughing on the way down the hill.) such friends i have, amazing (:
-

i have a confession to make!
i love math.
im not kidding yo. it sounds super retarded but its true.
i like doing math hmwk, though sometimes it kills.
and i rly rly hate doing languages (except for mly p2) and humans (all the stinking essays)
i look forward to math classes and nvr in my whole life have i attended so many math classes. plus, the ppl around me knows how much i dread humans lessons.
ESP LIT. contradicting, very very contradicting.
cause i was looking through my report slip the other day.
and it took me long but yes, i realised my best subj for this ct was lit. LIT!
one of the subjs i always suck at in lower sec. and i usually tend to get a bit dazed during lit lessons.

oh and you know how they say when the world's ending, one of the little signs will be that things will be the opposite?
like say, girls becoming guyish, and guys becoming girlish.
the major one, being the sun rising in the opp direction.
and oooooooh i realised im one of the signs too! :0
cause agn, i only came to realise a few days back tt for once ever, my bio was much better than my combined sci! i nvr get any better than a c6 for my bio and i nvr nvr nvr EVER failed my combined sci. but this time, its the opp. uhuh. i failed combined sci, REALLY BADLY. in fact, its the worst.
i dont understand how my brain functions. tsktsk.
(another good reason to pursue psychology?)

okay i should be doing my work now and not blog hopping or friendster hopping or typing useless posts like this. k bye im off!

(you know what, i think this post somehow contradicts my previous post)

-Clover-

2008-03-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

can we count on each other to make our day,
just like how we used to?

Have you forgotten,
Love brought us together.
So please dont throw it away,
After all that had happened.
Remember when we used to say,
At the end of the day, we're still gonna make it through.

-
Come up to meet you,
Tell you I'm sorry,
You don't know how lovely you are.
I had to find you,
Tell you I need you,
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets,
And ask me your questions,
Oh let's go back to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Comin' up tails,
Heads on the science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin',
At numbers and figures,
Pullin' the puzzles apart.
Questions of science,
Science and progress,
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me,
Come back and haunt me,
Oh and I rush to the start.
Runnin' in circles,
Chasin' our tails,
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy,
Oh it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.
-

just wanna tell you guys,
that I Love You.

-Krushchev-

2008-03-12T06:39:00.000-07:00

There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake the solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

love,
Clover.

When I turn the lights out
When I close my eyes
Reality overcomes me
I'm living a lie

2008-03-09T08:50:00.000-07:00

today, not 1 but FOUR of my friends are celebrating their bdays!
though most of em probably wont read this but here goes!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNA!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOYCE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JING LI!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEF!

yeahh man the gee1 love :D

lots and lots and lots of love,
hanisah

2008-03-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

today is my friend's bday!
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY SAB! :D
awesome awesome friend, love you manymany times infinity! MUACKS!

xoxo
hanisah

2008-03-08T06:07:00.000-08:00

yay for me, i finally got down to changing my skin.
now my skin doesnt look so depressing anymore. good.

i chose this skin cause well, i like it and the song too.
i particularly like the model.
no hidden meaning or whatsoever.
im tired of explaining myself over and over again.
and trying to make my stand.

i think that the tagboard's kinda out though.
i nvr realised orange and white doesnt go well.
ahwell. shall change it to blue soon if im in the mood.

for now, i have 3 chaps of amath to do (by mon).
-
A man carrying a small red box in one hand walked slowly down the street. His old straw hat and faded garments looked as if the rain had often beaten upon them, and the sun had as many times dried them upon his person. He was not old, but he seemed feeble; and he walked in the sun, along the blistering asphalt pavement. On the opposite side of the street there were trees that threw a thick and pleasant shade: people were all walking on that side of the street. But the man did not know, for he was blind, and moreover he was stupid.
In the red box were lead pencils, which he was endeavoring to sell. He carried no stick, but guided himself by trailing his foot along the stone coping or his hand along the iron railings. When he came to the steps of a house he would mount them. Sometimes, after reaching the door with great difficulty, he could not find the electric button, whereupon he would patiently descend and go his way.
The man had been out long and had walked far, but had sold nothing. Hunger, with sharp fangs, was gnawing at his stomach and a consuming thirst parched his mouth and tortured him. The sun was broiling. He wore too much clothing - a vest and coat over his shirt. He might have removed these and carried them on his arm or thrown them away; but he did not think of it. A kind woman who saw him from an upper window felt sorry for him, and he wished that he would cross over into the shade.
The man drifted into a side street, where there was a group of noisy, excited children at play. The color of the box which he carried attracted them and they wanted to know what was in it. One of them attempted to take it away from him. With the instinct to protect his own and his only means of sustenance, he resisted, shouted at the children and called them names. A policeman coming round the corner and seeing that he was the center of disturbance, jerked him violently around by the collar; but upon perceiving that he was blind, considerately refrained from clubbing him and sent him on his way. He walked on in the sun.
During his aimless rambling he turned into a street where there were monster electric cars thundering up and down, clanging wild bells and literally shaking the ground beneath his feet with their terrific impetus. He started to cross the street.
Then something happened - something horrible happened that made the women faint and the strongest men who saw it grow sick and dizzy. The motorman's lips were as grey as his face, and that was ashen grey; and he shook and staggered from the superhuman effort he had put forth to stop his car.
Where could the crowds have come from so suddenly, as if by magic? Boys on the run, men and women tearing up on their wheels to see the sickening sight; doctors dashing up in buggies as if directed by Providence.
And the horror grew when the multitude recognized in the dead and mangled figure one of the wealthiest, most useful and most influential men of the town, a man noted for his prudence and foresight. How could such a terrible fate have overtaken him? He was hastening from his business house, for he was late, to join his family, who were to start in an hour or two for their summer home on the Atlantic coast. In his hurry he did not perceive the other car coming from the opposite direction and the common, harrowing thing was repeated.
The blind man did not know what the commotion was all about. He had crossed the street, and there he was, stumbling on in the sun, trailing his foot along the coping.

&

i have seen them inching along
the aged ones with sparse foreheads
hairpieces and pinkie pressed against wall
cautiously feeling
their way like the blind
unsupported, they teeter in tiny
cloth satchels, the lumbering of
torso and absurb hip rockings
thrilling men to poetry
'like the weeping willow she moves
those golden lotuses, lilies of gold'
others praised these motions
for coital ecstasy

folded upon themselves
clumped into a crooked claw
swathed in putrid pain
that tortuous norm they suffered
to keep they cannot now undo
they did not sense conspiracy
to be bandaged into domestic beasts
and call such bondage beauty

grandmother, proud to be Guangdong-born
worked splayed-toed in fields
beside her Hakka men but chose her own
prudish imprisonment by pressing
breasts flat until at seventy
they drooped to her waist
on a hot day she bid me fetch a cloth
to wipe the sweat from her chest
and then she slung her dugs over shoulders
so they hung like leathery scarves

i think of others who have submitted
to surgeries of their tenderest
parts to please or tease
and those of us who perched
on stilettos or squeezed waist
to be breathlessly seductive
when we awaken to our fullest freedom
as women, what real beauty then
-
hell yeah, shoot me please.

-Clover Munchy-

2008-03-07T06:01:00.001-08:00

i cant believe this. a week had gone by just like tt and i swear i didnt even realise it. i rmb telling my cousin last sun, "oh drats. i have sch tmr. DANG."

on a brighter side, the sch's giving us free anti virus, like finally!

this week's kinda chaotic but nice and not so bad.
lets have a proper update shall we?

today my dearest partner decided to abandon me all alone. SOBS.
but its okay, Little Cupcakes became my partner of the day. (yeah thank god, or my partner will have to hear me whine bout my rly horrid cramps all day long)
"i look/feel like a santa claus!"
had lessons till 5. insane but its okay.

yest's pe was awe+some (hahah lameee)
class games/interaction got everyone so hyped up.
bio was...horrifying. our teacher walked out on us. like srsly.
her mood suddenly changed, she got mad and um well, yeah she walked out of the class way before the lesson was supp to end. everyone was speechless. yeah, scary. (ok fine, we made a teacher cry before. but this situation's like rly weird/awkward.)
angklung was quite nice though. i swear me and khalie are fated for everythingggggggg! (heheh i love khalie!)
moodswinged like mad but its okay. i cant gargle for nuts.
i skipped csp. i feel bad.

oh yeah. yest my friend asked me a qn, one i have nvr rly thought of or ponder about. so that got me thinking.
and, my friend agreed with me that !#$%^& is cute!! LOL.
even my friend is not denying it ((:

so thats all i guess. my memory's not that good.
lessons next week are kinda ok i guess. since we dont have mly from 8 to 12 like some ppl (further rubs it in. LOL)
hope it doesnt rain, i want picnic! ((:

oh. guess what. i saw SWK(Snow White King) in the lrt agn the other time, but in the morn otw to sch ((:
one of the fond memories of 171107 (:

-Clover Munchy-

Walau ku masih mencintaimu
Ku harus meninggalkanmu
Ku harus melupakanmu
Meski hatiku menyayangimu
Nurani membutuhkanmu
Kuharus merelakanmu
-
i got an inspiration from farrah's blog.
so now, handsome boy it shall be. (:

strange. but im feeling exactly how hanizah is feeling right now (then?)
(im not going through the whole trouble. so you can go straight to her blog to read)
dang. i miss her

i twisted my words so much yest.
hidden meaning behind my words.
i surprise myself with that unknown capability of mine.
i dropped so many hints and such.
but thank god.
i think everyone will drop dead then.
or think tt im just plain mad.
i'd rather it'll be the latter one.

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

nvr thought those words could mean so much now.
ily.

-Aum Krushchev-

2008-03-02T07:19:00.001-08:00

its 1/2hr to midnight now and i cant go to sleep (you'll find out why later)
plus i cant find anth better to do (besides studying, thats a no no no for now)
so here i am blogging away (agn)

so today, cheap thrills are goood.
later lunch/linner with the other 9 was awesome. had seafood, costed a bomb, but its okay, cause im not the one paying :D (heh heh)
(i think im getting sick of eating stingray almost everyday. OH NO i cant believe this.)
had little bday celebration at coffee bean and it was so sinful i swear.
oh yeah, thats prolly the reason why i cant get to sleep now. though i thought the cake tasted like biscuits mixed with crumbs.
i realised, coffee makes us very high for the first hour or so,
and then make us stone and emo the next.

i think i've gained weight now man. im actually quite disappointed that we havent been having mass run for over a month. and only had pe last thurs after nearly a month too. oh man.

this is so random. but im thinking of a way of persuading my mum to get for me a rabbit for my bday. since she nvr allowed anymore pets after the whole crazy hamster period. (which, in case you dont know, i used to have 30. HAHA i think she's traumatized) aye, but isnt it good to be able to come home and hug something, and have smth like a nodding acquaintance. cats are out of the choice, cause i think they're harder to handle, plus they scratch you and run away from you. nah, nasty.
cause all i want for ~~christmas~~my bday is ~~you~~ a rabbit :D

-Clover Munchy-

laugh, and cry out loud.
this isnt happening, this must not be happening.
once a fantasy forgotten, now revived.
stupid little skunk.
i shouldnt have known, i would rather not know.
so sinful, so so sinful.
people should not go around using the word 'love' so easily.
they're making it seem like such a cheap and meaningless word.
you make me feel so stupid, s-t-u-p-i-d.
stupid little skunk.
i never thought this would happen,
it was just a silly random thing, one that only opp.tweenie. knows.
(no, we're not that close and we're not exactly tt opposite btw. its just a name created by a friend 3 yrs back)
i told her, she laughed, i laughed, we laughed.
but till today, i dont know how much those words mean.
stupid little emotions.
stupid little skunk.
so, stupid little skunk, listen up yo.
cause i want you to know that you hear me,
comfort me by saying you knew all along,
tell me that im right, and that its not wrong.
cause as afraid and doubtful as i am to say this,
i admit,
i need you, you stupid little skunk.

-Aum Krushchev-

2008-02-29T06:05:00.000-08:00

Now that the world isnt ending,
its love that im sending to you.
It isnt the love of a hero,
and thats why I fear it wont do.

all you gotta do, is listen.

-Aum Krushchev-
-
cause yknow, sometimes some things get too hard to handle.
you feel crushed,, but you're still standing up straight.
you feel lost, but you're still somewhere on the right path.
you feel lonely, but you have amazing friends around you.
you feel stupid, but its not like you keep failing though. (okay, well, yes, my fails are usually the extreme ones, like f9)
you feel dejected, but you're working hard/harder.
you feel all out of love, but...(okay, there's no buts to this. not like im even in love in the first place anw)
you feel like crying, but you have no reason to.
you feel so down, but you laughed a hell lot today.

if all that can sum up my day for today, i have nth else to say.
i think, the confessions you find in this blog, is nowhere near 1/10 of all the secrets i have been keeping. (well, yes, if you ppl out there do read my posts regularly, you'll find alot of juicy info)
im planning to let everything out on the last day, i guess.
its scaring the shit out of me how this world's revolving.
as much as i love crescent, i suddenly felt like just disappearing,
gone without a trace.

-Clover Munchy-

2008-02-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

"even if the whole world is against you, i'll always be here (:"

i rmb, that same exact sentence (yes, with the smiley too)
even though that was like more than 2 years back.
things that i miss, but i know they'll never come back.
you're not coming back.
how i wish you're here tonight to hold me tight again
and give me that sense of comfort.
i cant stop these tears, cause i miss you friend.

i dont usually say this, but i rly do miss pri sch life.
this time, not the studies part.

i came across my pri sch choir file and yes, i realised its been so long since i last sing my heart out (properly). i could feel all the memories rushing back when i slowly sing each song. the kind of memories that will last forever.

& how i used to have an interest in breakdancing. how i USED to be able to do some of the stunts, back then in pri sch. but now, all gone. its congruent to a passion lost. lets rewind time.

and of course, i'll never forget netball. i loved netball and i still do love it now. dont ask me why im not in netball now (actually, glad im not in it too). i think, the last time i played a proper netball game, was 3 years back or so? i cant rmb. but shit, i rly do miss it. when i look back into my pri sch days, i still have vivid memories of the trainings, of the games, of the team.

and today in the bus, i overheard this other girl from our sch, saying this:
"if you suddenly wake up with that feeling as though you're gonna fall but actually not, people say that you're feeling insecure"

now i know. so, im not surprised it always happens to me.

and like they say too,
every good thing has a bad side to it.

like today.

-Aum Krushchev-

2008-02-26T05:29:00.000-08:00

today started off bad.
i dont know whether to feel relieved or scared now.
last 6 papers, suck to the maxxxx!

emath:
was horrid duh. but i can hardly rmb anth now, ahwell.

phys:
the worst paper ever. sure-flunk paper. im upset, terribly terribly upset.

hist:
it was um, okay i guess. but i didnt finish. ahh Krushchev me love.

mlyp2:
it was okay, at least i know im not gonna get zero for peribahasa! haha thanks aqilah, the last min memorizing session with you worked.
(oh, after i finished the paper, i was scribbling chem and amath stuff that i memorised at the back of the paper in pencil, and that chi teacher kept walking past and looking and staring. TSKK!)

chem:
ooh, another horrid paper. my mind went like -BLANK- for the 2nd qn for part b. like totally -BLANK-

amath:
oh yes, another sure fail paper. i didnt know whether to laugh or cry while doing it. asilah thinks we're retarded, cause me and raihan started laughing and being high when we saw the paper. LOL. (oh yeah, amira too!)
-
so yeah. horrible. urgh.
oh, and lava told me bout my csp marks. she told me that i got the highest for compo, so yeah, cool :D
but guess what i got, 27/50.
haha wth, which means the rest must've either
a.) just passed
or
b.) failed.
lol. so funny i couldnt stop laughing. hahah, wait, not for the wrong reasons ah!
but cool ah, i passed overall even though i didnt expect to.

OH YEAH. did i mention, we finally got a new fridge (0n sat!)
haha try surviving a week without a fridge, its SUPER COOL (not.)
but now my kitchen looks so weird, some parts are so um, futuristic-like and some are so country-like. ohamgee.

anws, today was neatly awesome. thanks liy and siti :D
haha but shit, i spent like um, two days worth of pocket money on food. ON FOOD ONLY. tskk school makes me fatter, i realise.
long theory but nvm.

so, today ended off good. coincidentally when i was reaching home, this is the way i live, started playing. what a good end to an almost perfect day dont cha think! :D (good because cts are over)

dont need to work hard, thats the way i feel.
i feel that this is the way i live. (:

-Clover Munchy-

2008-02-24T07:00:00.000-08:00

till the end of time

if you're smart enough to get what i mean.

im sorry

-Aum Krushchev-

(goodbye white-houses. ): thanks for being a short but lovely and sweet memory. love ya. muackzx)

2008-02-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

Guess what song (:
-
Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No

See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let you know how I feel

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back
Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cause ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back
Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its, over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, causeI loved a hoe

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
-
i suddenly have a rekindled love for this song.
addicted to it once agn.

-Aum Krushchev-

2008-02-23T09:18:00.000-08:00

even though there's no reason for me not to, i dont feel good now.
at all. idk why.
anws, i shall write bout my comments on the papers so far (=horrible)
6 down, 6 more to go. (i cant believe this, im only 1/2 way through!)

csp:
the essay was crap. cause the title was like 我的兴趣。
and, i wrote that i wanna be a musician. amazing, amazing. (ok, it was part of the syllabus, i just wrote wtv crap i memorised)
more of like, spending 1/2 my time flipping through the damned dictionary.
paper 2 was ~~quite~~ very horrid. i didnt understand a single thing AT ALL for the close passage and the compre. till lava told me its smth bout mooncake festival. OH.

el:
from el, i conclude that im a boring person. yes.
cause mr ravi said for the 2 compre passages, 1 wil be narrative and nice while the other will be factual and boring. and i actually found the factual one more interesting than the narrative one. conclusion: yeah hell im a boring person.

mly(paper1):
it was okay but not okay.
okay cause the title was quite simple, smth we always do.
BUT my points were very messy and screwed up, all over the place. dang.

ss:
the paper was hmm not bad either. for once (in an exam), i finished the whole paper. just that.
aft sch, met Ms. C. (?) and talked bout the paper.
AND she said we're not supp to put a purpose para for qn 1a.
damn it. goodbye 4 marks ):

bio:
i think its like one of the easiest paper they ever set for an exam.
was so relieved but not so. this time, idc i want a pass badly ):

lit:
was errr. ohmyshiat i dont even know that passage even exist in the book okay. srsly. but managed to crap my way through and agn, finished the paper (finish=4 points+conclusion)

and this more to go:
-emath (6 chaps!)
-phys (8 chaps!)
-hist (the whole of cold war. damnit)
-mly paper2 (yeah those peribahasa-s)
-chem (yeahh 3 topics only :D)
-amath

ok. so thats it i guess. probability sucks i tell you.
probably the one and only topic i hate in emath.
yeah wait. i didnt get to say that i officially stopped disliking proving topics and im actually beginning to love love it (:

oh, i love amath classes too.
sometimes for the wrong reasons.
but haiyoh.

(ok dang i rmb i still have a dedication post to put up!)

OH. AND. i found out the sec2s are learning sec3 bio stuff.
wah, the sch's rly scaring the shit out of me.
if they dont do well for their math and science, i wont blame them.
i understand, i totally understand.
this world's getting so insane.

-Clover Munchy-

2008-02-20T05:58:00.000-08:00

one thing i noticed:
love can make even the best people stumble

my day's just not good.
im not kidding when i said i wanna go to the hospital.
somehow weirdly strangely suits my emotions.

the stall vendors have smth against me today, idk why. go ask them.

and so, i told a white lie. forgive me.

school's so hectic, more than ever i guess.
goes the same for life.
im literally running around the house.
madness.

-Clover Munchy-

2008-02-18T08:02:00.001-08:00

hah hah i realised my previous post can be very misleading. hmm.

i tried finding for THE SONG throughout the whole of today.
until i finally did find it.
but i didnt know it'll be that song.
yeah, im talking in alien language.
so hard to express.
cant help feeling guilty, feels like the blame is on me.
and you could put the blame on me
you could put the blame on me

我很压力了。
):

on a lighter note, i got a B for chem. yeah seriously wasnt even expecting to pass. but i guess God helped me. ahh, syukur alhamdulillah (:

-Clover Munchy (aka Aum Krushchev)-
(p.s. hanisah's studying now, cant disturb her!)

2008-02-17T04:42:00.000-08:00

originally, it was supp to be, adelene.
but then the name/spelling is quite common, so adeline it is.
till i realised that there's someone in 4c3 with tt name, so changed it to adelina
but i paused and looked at the name agn and agn.
it looks wrong, so i took out the letter E and it became adlina
okay, so i was happy with the name.
till i realised like half a min later that adlina, nur adlina(sec2). ITS THE SAME SPELLING. just diff pronounciation. HAIYOH.
so siti suggested it be adenaline
but thats just adrenaline minus the letter R.
then since we figured out names that sound anth like the ones mentioned above wont do, she suggested carrotia
but also agn, it just seems like some country named Croatia (according to her)
yeah. and cool, we've finally settled for Clover.
so random, and not as girlish as we wanted, but its okay (:
hey there Clover Munchy :D

-Aumn Khrushchev-

2008-02-16T08:56:00.000-08:00

im not exactly in the best of health now.
and i cant believe im actually feeling this way; im scared that i wont be able to come to sch on mon :0
yeah, insane. this is what sch does to you TSKTSK.

i feel like uploading random pics:

dont ask me why she has fat legs and skinny arms. i think she's cute (LOLL p.d.s.!)

cny. we're not the only bored ones. (-looks at background-)

ice skating! though its kinda small.

me and kiki :D

labrador park at midnight. awesome.

i cant help it LOL. everytime they mention "ammonia gas is liberated",, this image keeps appearing in my mind HOHO

we were rly bored...

so we started taking pics :D

haha the little cute nerd with pink braces :DD
(we did this during bio lol)

raihan!

liy's supposed hockey lookalike fries. i think it looks more of like a cartoon's leg (:

now i think that fire emergency drills are not that bad.
1.) waste time = phys test postponed :D
2.) we (amira, raihan, siti, me) had a little mini picnic in the middle of the field (:
3.) played childhood games. HEHE (teet teet teet, ~~rumah~~ sekolah terbakar panggil bomba, bomba datang berlumba-lumba. A for Awak, B for Budak, C for Cantik, Awak Budak Cantik! LOLL LOLL!)
4.) taking pics!
5.) singing along to song(s) in my phone :D
6.) chit chatting ((:

basically, it was good. (:
too bad its our last one in crescent.
cause we were planning to bring along mats and umbrellas and fans and more food along next time. :D

i just came across this pic. and i felt rly sad.
though it has nth to do with me at all, its just so...sad(ok sorry for the lack of vocab)
i could feel it, yes, i could feel it.

its so unfair for me. it was at the end. right at the end. how wasted.

i fell in ~~love~~ with a stranger. no kidding. throughout the whole train journey i have this urge to look at him. okay fine, i just rly like him. and its been like what...weeks? do take note that i dont like guys that easily (yes, im not les or bi, for that matter :0) and most guys dont rly impress me.
so yeah, this guy must be that awesome (:
(but i think he must be at least 3 yrs older than me. DANG IT)

-Pink&Black

(okay eew i realised i sound so weird haha like so mentel hohoho)